This Week in Blogs, Volume X
Hi Friends. Thanks for coming back to my blog. So I know I kind of promised that I’d do two posts this week, but that’s not going to happen this week. I thought all good television was over with for the year, and then I get sucked into a Deadliest Catch Marathon AND the Scripps Spelling Bee. Oh, and I’ve been busy with work too. Sorry if this late Thursday night/early Friday morning post (check local listings) throws off your Google Reader routine, but I’m traveling tomorrow and this will probably be my only posting opportunity. And if you think it sucks for you…I have to miss Taylor Swift’s performance on the Today Show. Doesn’t work know that I’ve been looking forward to this ever since Matt and Meredith announced their summer concert schedule?.
Thanks for all of the positive feedback on last week’s ideas. If any of you guys decide to move forward with development of my hamster transportation system, or if you create your own cool tub, please send me pictures. Since y’all liked those ideas, I guess I can just use this blog to share all of my awesome ideas. I’ve shared these on my other blog, but since only seven people read that blog when I wrote that post (and I think I’m related to 6 of them) I’ll repeat myself. Here are my inventions…feel free to steal them. I promise I’ll get to the blog review after this.
Electrocuting Baby Doll - Probably need to work on the name, but it’s basically a little kid’s doll that shocks the hell out of a dog if the dog touches it. Not just for shits and giggles (unless you’re really mean) but as a training aid for the family pet when the mom and dad are expecting a human baby. Ya know, so the dog doesn’t eat the human baby. Because that would be bad.
Screw Off Chicken Bucket - All of you healthy people probably aren’t my target demographic for this one, but I think the bottom of the KFC bucket should screw off and contain silverware and napkins. Then you can use your other hand to carry your side dishes.
Vibrating Remote Control - When I’m switching between two channels, I want to know when my primary channel comes back from commercial. A vibrating remote would alert me when it’s time for me to change back so I don’t miss my Housewives.
Please invent one of these products. Oh, I’ve also got a pretty badass idea that would revolutionize banana distribution, but it’s too long to summarize here, so you can just read about it in the Editor’s tangent on this post. Now for our weekly blog recap.
Hangry Pants wrote a nice post about how she met Mr. Hangry earlier this week. I don’t know why, but I love this kind of stuff. Especially when there are pictures from the ‘before they were bloggers’ era. It’s sort of like the E! or VH1 shows with big time celebrities back when they were doing commercials or music videos. This would be an excellent time for me to include an old school picture of Kate and I from when we met, but my digital camera in 2002 actually held a 3.5 inch diskette, and my 2009 laptop doesn’t have a disk drive. Yeah, we’re an old married couple. Oh, and if you recall, Mr. and Ms. Hangry sent me chocolate muffins and liquid crack last week, which means they get to hold the #1 slot on the blog round-up until I get more free stuff. Yes, I like free stuff that much. Hmm…not sure if that’s an honor or not.
Caitlin Pancake wrote an entire post about the upcoming Twilight sequel. I think this tops her birthday post from a couple of months ago when she said she wanted the Twilight action figure as a gift. So her new name is Caitlin Twilight Pancake. I know she’s not alone in her obsession. There were like 65 comments on that post, and most of them were about how dreamy the man vampire is. And Kate’s step sister once said that she wanted to marry a vampire (because of the movie). Don’t get me wrong, he’s dreamy for sure, but I still don’t get it. In other news, Twilight has been added to my list of stuff that I don’t understand. It fits somewhere between Radiohead and fax machines on this list.
Angela at Oh She Glows wins the best post title of the week award with this alliterative post. It was a nice post with a positive ‘feel good about yourself’ message, but one thing keeps bothering me. The Green Monster keeps showing up in different glassware on OSG! I think I’ve seen a green drink in a Champagne Flute, Wine Glass, Rocks Glass, and maybe a couple more. I think this just leaves shot glass, camelback, and beer helmet as the only drinking vessels that haven’t had the pleasure of being filled with blended green things. I’m sure there’s something psychological about drinking out of a fancy glass and making it more fun to drink the Green Monster, but I’m just not buying it. Seeing a green monster in a wine glass just makes me not want to drink wine. Everyone says they are great, and I’m sure Kate will somehow feed one to me when I’m not paying attention (because that’s how she rolls) but I think the Monster would be better in a dark glass. But then Angela totally redeemed herself with more fancy spelling…which is the best (or should I say my favourite) part of OSG. It makes me feel classy when I read the fancy spelling. Her spelling is much more regal than the backcountry gibberish that I use here.
I have been wanting to write about Polly at Yoga is Yummy for several weeks now. Polly is a fan of this blog and I enjoy reading her blog, so it makes sense for me to write about her, right? To date, Kate has always vetoed me with something like “Polly is the nicest person we know and you’ll say something mean or smartass and you won’t think it’s mean but you can’t say something mean or smartass, okay”. So this naturally scares me out of writing about Polly. Oh, and when Kate says that Polly is the nicest person we know, we are basing that entirely on her blog and comments she posts on other blogs, but I think it’s pretty accurate. Most bloggers average about one frustration post per week, where they use the blog as an opportunity to vent or something, and that’s fine. I can’t really swing that, since I only post once a week, but whatever. Anyway, all of Polly’s posts are super upbeat and nice, which is probably why Polly is now ranked above me on Kate’s ‘nice people’ list. So all I’m going to say is that I too am a Taylor Swift fan, and I think that the poster in this post is pretty sweet. Kate probably wouldn’t let me hang a poster in our bedroom, but she is going to allow me to sing some ‘Picture to Burn’ when we do Karaoke at the dive bar next weekend. Stay tuned for pictures from that.
Stock Up
Adora Calcium Discs - These things probably should’ve been stock up last week, but I was kind of hoping that I’d somehow get some in the mail, and I’d feel bad if I wrote something smartass about them. Turns out I didn’t get any, so opportunity lost. But I did steal one from Kath’s house the other day. I give them a C+ if you treat them as candy, and a A- if you consider it to be some kind of vitamin.
Twitter Usage - The entire food blog world is now on Twitter. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing on Twitter. I’m waiting for The Video Professor to come out with a Twitter training CD because I feel like an 80 year old man on there. I don’t understand the jargon or protocol, but if you want to follow me, I think you can do that by going here.
Chocolate - Chocolate is showing up in breakfast, lunch and dinner posts this week. It’s actually kicking the pants off of Peanut Butter in their ’sweet but kind of healthy’ death match. I expect a strong response from Peanut Butter (and the rest of the nut butter family). I even saw some Chocolate Peanut Butter. I don’t know if I should count that in the Peanut Butter column or the Chocolate column. I’ll call it a draw.
Guest Posting - Following in Caitlin Pancake’s footsteps, Kath has single handedly moved guest posting into the stock up category. FFS, I hit refresh and I’ve got like six new guest posts to read. I feel like Laverne (or Lucy) working the assembly line. Slow it down! And no, I’m not that old, but I watched some Nick at Night.
Stock Down
Milk from Cows - Someone should probably notify all of the Kindergarten teachers out there, as this will have a significant impact on their curriculum. Sorry teachers, but you’re going to have to work on lesson plans this summer to explain that milk comes from the Soy or the Coconut, but not the cow. Good luck with that.
Using an Oven - Everything is either grilled or raw
Swimming (the exercise kind, not the floating kind) - The legs of the triathlon have their ups and downs. Running and Biking are back up again, but swimming is back down. Floating and/or laying on the beach is still pretty popular, so we’re just talking about lap swimming here.
Alright, that’s all I’ve got for this week. I’ll try to post twice next week. Not sure if I can fit it in with a new episode of Jersey Housewives and everything else I’ve gotta do. We’ll try to do better next time.
I want someone to invite a Towel Warmer, so that when I get out of the shower my towels are all nice and toasty warm to dry off with. Yes, I realize there is already something like this called a *DRYER* but I want a small one that hangs on the wall in my bathroom within arms reach of the shower!
My daughters call milk from cows “cows milk”, which makes other people laugh when they hear it but it is totally normal and totally necessary in our house.
You’ve got my vote for the vibrating remote control!
The vibrating remote control is genius. While I’m not one of those compulsive channel changera, too many people I know are and I am constantly missing the show I was watching while they flip around to skip the commercials.
I vote for the vibrating remote! I’ve got to know when my future husband, Albie, is back on the TV screen. I don’t understand the Twilight craze either, am I missing something?
Love the round up as usual!
I would take any of those inventions, hands down. The one I want to make is a fold-up grocery cart that fits into the bottom of the car trunk. Why don’t they make these yet?
I love “I Love Lucy” - I only saw it on Nick at Nite, but it’s my favorite show.
LOL - all three of your inventions are fabulous ideas - work on getting that shiz patented - you and kate will never have to work another day in your lives!
I also want a button on my remote that allows me to pause and find out where a product - clothes, couch, anything was purchased and how much it costs.
I am honored to hold the no. 1 spot. We are old and unmarried, which is why I posted pictures of pictures. We didn’t even have digital cameras in my day. Oh and now I am pissed that Mark made me take down the picture of him on all fours because his boss reads the blog!
Adora - Steal another one from Kath, spread peanut butter on toast, then put Adora on top and microwave.
The vibrating remote idea is GENIUS!
Good luck figuring out Twitter, Nate! It seems like you are doing well so far. Also, I think you need to learn to prioritize better. RHNJ is not to be sacrificed!
The vibrating remote control rivals the effed up doll idea. If the parents a) have a dog that can actually eat a baby b) leave the baby somewhere where a dog could potentially eat the baby, then they shouldn’t be parents in the first place. Maybe there should be an infant size doll that shocks parents every time they leave it somewhere dangerous, you know, as practice before the real baby comes. If the woman is pregnant at this point, there should be a disclaimer, obviously.
The vibrating remote control idea might send some advertising corporations’ hit men your way, so keep low for a while.
i want to go swimming now. STOCK UP.
and yes, Angela does have so many pretty ways to drink Green Monsters!! I have one cup……. or I drink from the blender. Classy, no?
I would like to say that I also feel like a back country bumpkin when I read Angela’s blog because of the fancy-schmancy spelling. Also, I live in Western North Carolina and drive a 21 year old pickup truck, so that also contributes to the feeling.
K-Dizzle - How good did Albie look in his suit last episode? Keep in mind that marrying Albie = Caroline as your mother in law.
Brandi - Please bring your folding shopping cart to the world. That would mean I’d never have to navigate around the cart that has a plastic car attached to it
Hangry - If I took off all of my embarrassing pics, I wouldn’t have a single picture on Facebook
Valerie - Don’t worry…I won’t miss RHNJ, and my biggest issue with Twitter is not knowing how significant something has to be in order to post. It’s tough when the tweets I come up with are things like “Watching Days of our Lives” or “Judge Joe Brown is a real hardass”
Clam - Straight from the blender is always classy. It makes me feel like Rocky
Recipes - Western NC is the only place I’ve been that is both backwoods and hippie. Was in Boone last weekend and both the deliverance theme song and Bob Marley were playing in my head. Actually saw a VW Van with a gun rack.
Putting not-so-fun food/drinks on fun plates/in fun glasses really does make life better!
Jenn - I’m with you on not fun foods needing a container upgrade. I can’t even look at a WW Smart One while it’s in the black plastic container of death.
I don’t get Twilight or Radiohead either, haha…
No worries, I write enough about swimming on my blog for all of blog-land. Taylor Swift, btw, was pretty awesome on the Today show. She had a suh-weet glitter acoustic guitar
I also had a remote-control invention. The TV should have one of those “page” buttons like on cordless phones so the remote will beep when you press it (so long as it’s not too deep within the confines of your couch). Perhaps you can add that feature to your vibrating remote??
Your posts crack me up! I love it!
I’m digging the remote, since I try to watch two shows during the commercials too. It think the cable company my be stalking me though, because I swear after a few flips BOTH shows will be on commercial. Gah.
My invention is a waterproof bookcase so you can read in the shower. Now I realize that this isn’t very green because you would be wasting a lot of water, but I’m not a bath fan…something about soaking in your own dirty soup has never appealed to me. And I love to read…so put it all together now. I tried to make one when I was in middle school with plexiglass and caulk but I could figure out how to power the windshield wipers and page turners. Yes, this was a complex design.
Enjoy your travels! Looking forward to next week’s post!
haha I’ve done the shot glass GM!!
YOU should work with a cable provider on the Vibrating Remote Control — it really is an amazing idea and so many people would love it! I also like the KFC idea.
Just found your site- its great! I love the vibrating remote- I want one…
When you first said vibrating remote, I thought it was going to be something dirty. I really love your idea though!! Genuis!!
It IS important to make time for NJ Housewives. My husband fully understands this.
Love your posts!
Don’t miss the housewives…
I love Polly too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t forget about the TLC dramz… did you hear that there was a complaint to Child Services on J+K?
Really? You don’t get Radiohead? That’s the most disturbing thing I’ve heard in a while.
Susan - Thank god for my DVR. Just watched Taylor on The Today Show. I probably would’ve stood out in that crowd of 12 year old girls.
Rebeca - J+K are depressing the hell out of me. At first I liked the drama, but that episode made me sad. I’ll still watch, of course.
Andrea - Sorry about that. I did try, as I hear they are an acquired taste, but still don’t get it. I’ll keep trying to understand…much like I still try to understand how fax machines work.
Can you work on a taser dry-erase marker for my classroom? It would be so much easier than yelling
Nate!
and funny as heck. I love the vibrating remote idea… and I always drink my green monsters in some sort of fun glass. I even steal green straws from starbucks to have since it keeps with the green theme. Okay, I ask really nicely and the starbucks girl just gives me a handful of straws no charge. 
Holy cow you are so nice.
Love your blog!
Chocolate should always be stock up
I decided on a camping trip that I wanted to invent dehydrated water. Just add water and stir
YES! I NEED that remote!! I always forget what show I was watching when I flip during the commercial, and then don’t figure it out until 10 minutes later and the show is almost over
Maybe I should just work on my memory skills…
You could totally get big bucks for “Screw Off Chicken Bucket” idea! Loved it.
I saw your post on the HEAB a while back and then saw you on Kath and linked on Zesty’s so had to come back and check ya out. Hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs!
Love the remote idea Nate…that is brilliant!
Our of boredom, my husband and I went to Target today to purchase a kiddie pool for our dogs…and they hate it. So, looks like I might have to turn it into a cool tub.
Sweet Polly - I LOVE HER. She seriously is like the nicest person ever, and I’m so thankful to have become friends with her in this crazy blog world.
Thank you for brightening my weekend. Hope you’re having a good one.
P.S. Green monster in a beer helmet - i would pay to see this.
Love all the links and updates Nate! Ready for the next volume!
You are friggin hilarious!! I love reading your posts because it’s like VH1’s “Best Week Ever” blogstyle…and you write the things I think about (e.g. not getting the Twitter thing). Thanks for the laughs! =)
Hysterical, as always!
“Milk from cows” and “using an oven” really cracked me up.
How dare you not enjoy the stolen Adora Calcium disc to it’s full enjoyment capacity!!
Homeboy..hook it up with the vibrating remote! It’s sheer genius! You crack me up in all your posts. And I admit..I was one of those 65 comments on Caitlin’s blog about how hot that vampire is.
hilarious. i actually liked your invention ideas more than the blog reviews, they were so clever! suggestion for stock down: “that’s what she said” jokes.
i’m sorry, i just love maggie more!! i know, im a bad mommy!!!