This Week in Blogs, Volume XIV
Hi Friends. Thanks for coming back, and I’m sorry that I’m a couple of days late with this post. I really have no excuse. I mean, I didn’t even have to work on Friday. Poor form on my part. I’ll try not to let it happen again. I’ll start with giving an update on what I’ve been up to this weekend, and then we’ll get to the blog review. Sound good?
So instead of blogging on Friday, Kate and I spent the day shopping for granite counter tops. Most of you know that Kate and I have been working very hard (with lots of help from my Dad and Home Depot) on updating our 1980s house. We have already performed a brass exorcism, removed the popcorn ceilings, and Kate has painted most of the house.
So operation get-our-house-out-of-1984 is now focused on new counter tops. For those of you who haven’t been shopping for granite, it’s sort of an experience. For me, it was particularly entertaining, since I’m pretty much color blind and don’t really spend a whole lot of time in the kitchen. So I spent most of my time adding insightful commentary, like:
“That looks really heavy. I don’t think I could lift that up by myself” - said when looking at the large slab of granite
“That one looks like the lobby at the Fairmont in San Francisco” - said while looking at some over the top white granite
“My house will be full of granite, marble and onyx” - Said while doing my best impression of Teresa from Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Instead of blogging on Saturday, I noticed that I was starting to get a lot of spam comments on the blog and I wanted to address that. So I dug into WordPress, and noticed that I could create a blacklist of words for comments - basically a list of naughty words that, when used in a comment, would lead to a comment getting automatically deleted. Creating this list was a fun exercise. I started out just using all of the words that show up in most of the spam comments (viagra, cialis, etc), but then started getting into all of the naughty words that I could think of. I think there are five languages represented in my comment naughty word blacklist. It’s like a potty mouth United Nations. So that took up most of my Saturday - happy birthday America!
As for Sunday…it’s with a heavy heart that I announce the passing of a family treasure. Lawnmower (2004-2009) passed away today in the backyard. I’d like to say that he passed away quietly in his sleep, but instead it was super noisy and embarrassing. Lawnmower and I shared so many great moments. There was my summer-long duel with crazy Indiana neighbor who wanted to have a better lawn than me. Crazy neighbor might have had me beat with his mad edging skillz and Cracker Barrel quality rocking chairs, but he couldn’t compete with the quality work that lawnmower did for me. And then there was the time that I thought I could fill up a camelback with beer for an afternoon of lawn mowing (not as brilliant of an idea as it sounds). Your beer will taste like gatorade, and your gatorade will taste like beer. Hmm, maybe if I had two camelbacks. Anyway…Lawnmower made the trip with us from Indiana, and lived exactly one year at our new house. He joins Weed Wacker (2004-2007) Red Truck (1998 - 2005) and Kate’s Laptop (2006-2007) in joint asset heaven. He is survived by gas can (2004-) and weed wacker #2 (2009-). In lieu of flowers, please send unleaded gasoline or spark plugs. A private ceremony for friends and family will be held at Lawnmower’s final resting place - the crawlspace under the deck. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Alright - time for the blog review now.
Anna at Blue Plate Special gets the top spot, because she sent us some free shiz. She sent us some delicious supercharge me cookies. Because of their name, I treated them like little vitamins. Unfortunately, they did not lead to me going out and running a marathon, but eating one of them did give me the energy to eat another one. So thanks again, Anna.
Anna made the world’s largest salad in this post. Either that, or this is the world’s smallest hand and blackberry. I’m not sure which it is. Sometimes I like to hold those little 6 oz Coke Cans in my hand and act like I’m a giant. I also do the same thing with the mini bottles of booze on airplanes. It’s not very difficult to entertain me. Also, shortly after her green monster, Anna was offered $5000 for this blender on the antiques roadshow.
Hangry Heather showed off her obscure nut butter collection in this post. I’m glad that Heather shared this picture. I’m also glad that Heather mentioned Scurvy…I always try to mention rickets or scurvy, but generally only do so when playing The Oregon Trail. And that usually happened because I’d buy 99 boxes of ammunition and no clothing for the children. This is no way for a banker from Boston to prepare for a trip across the country, which is why Nate Jr. would always end up with cholera or scurvy. I also mention scurvy when talking about the lead singer from the Spin Doctors (he just looked sickly), and he just doesn’t come up much these days. Anyway, I like this picture, because Kate has been falling in love with Polly’s fridge lately, which is super clean. Kate has talked about going with the ‘empty fridge/buy groceries for one day’ method. I don’t see this ending well for me. Neither of us is going to be able to go to the grocery on a daily basis. I can hardly commit to making it to my office every day, and that’s just upstairs. Hell, I can’t even blog every seven days. So please, more pictures of full fridges.
K-Dizzle from K’s Good Eats tackled an important topic in this post. In addition to sharing several mushroom glamour shots (K-Dizzle loves mushrooms - almost as much as the Real Housewives) she also discussed how her dogs are scared of fireworks. We have the same thing going on with Gilbert. This was a big problem when we lived in Indiana, because our hillbilly neighbors considered the 4th of July to be a week-long excuse to set off fireworks. I don’t get it, the duration of the holiday is clearly stipulated in the holiday’s name. It’s the 4th of July, not the “first week of July.” So Gilbert Michael wouldn’t go outside without bribery for a week or so. Fortunately we don’t have the same issue here in NC, or maybe Gilbert is just growing up. He knows he has to step up and be an adult before his upcoming nuptials with Penny. Man, we really need to stop treating that dog like a person. Oh, and a belated happy birthday to K-Dizzle.
Heather from Heat the Salmon Butt jumped on the banana ice cream bandwagon in this post. She also had a birthday party for her dog Einstein. Good to see that we’re not the only ones who treat our dog like a person. I would’ve liked to see the birthday hat on Einstein. We tried to put a birthday hat on Gilbert during my Spongebob party, but he decided to eat the hat instead. That dog loves to eat all paper products (Kate likes to say that he has a paper tooth). I’ve been kind of scared to try the banana soft serve. Several bloggers (Kath, Fitnessestenessa, Heat the Salmon Butt) have referred to it as a life changing experience. As I’ve mentioned before I’m not really a big fan of change, so I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of a commitment. If someone could confirm that it will taste good, but not change my life, I might give it a shot.
Post Graduate Meghannnn is on vacation, which means lots of guest posts. I was happy to see a post by her Easter Bunny, Derek. I like when bloggers have their significant others post for them. Most of them follow the format of: I don’t really pay attention to what I eat, I eat food from boxes, I don’t use all of those fancypants ingredients, I eat healthier because of my blogger, and I can’t believe that my blogging significant other does this posting thing multiple times per day. It’s a pretty solid format. I have enjoyed posts by Oh He Glows, Matt Eats Real Food, Mr. Hangry, and now Graduate Derek. I’m thinking Kate should do a guest post here in the near future. Both because I’m sure she’d do a good job, and because it would give me another week off from posting. A little peer pressure via comments could help make this happen.
Stock Up
Hummus - Good for hummus. It’s a true comeback story…Hummus has fallen on hard times lately, so it’s good to see hummus (both homemade and store-bought) make it to the stock up list again
Chicken Sausages - Not sure if other bloggers were eating them, but I ate enough this weekend to make them stock up
Patriotism - Blogland felt like a Toby Keith song this weekend
Green Monster Variations - Everyone seems to be adding an ingredient here, taking one out there. One of these days someone is going to come up with a combo that blows up their blender like an Indiana meth lab.
Stock Down
Store-bought Ice Cream - Everyone seems to be making their own. This banana stuff is out of control. I might give it a go, if I could also get butterfinger and oreos mixed in, like I do at Cold Stone.
Amazing Grass - It’s still out there, but mentions are down about 30% from last week
PETA Vegan College Cookbook - This was as popular as those Mushroom Ravioli things earlier this year, but haven’t seen it in blogland recently.
Alright, that’s all I’ve got. I’ll try to do better (and get back on schedule) next time.
I live in a pretty hillbilly part of MI so the fireworks last all.damn.summer. Anyway, my friend ended up drugging her dog over the weekend - it looked more drunk than I did. It was slipping and sliding all over their hardwood floor haha!! Poor thing!
Thanks for the birthday shout out!! Please tell me you paid for your granite (and bubbies) in all cash because it will make you recession proof.
Oregon Trail!!! Love.
Hunting the bears were the best!
RIP, Lawnmower!
I made the banana “ice cream” last night. It did not change my life. I did, however, lose my front gate key this morning and am now locked in my house with no bananas (or other fruit or vegetables) in the house. I blame the “ice cream.”
I ate a chicken sausage last night, too, and will probably have one again today seeing as I’m locked in and can’t go to the store!
My neighbors are not hillbillies but they, too, are unclear on the 4th is only one day concept - ha!
You’re right on both accounts- that WAS the world’s largest salad, and my sister DOES have the world’s smallest hands (although mine give them a run for their money, seeing as they’re sized for a fetus).
As for the blender… when my dad inherited our house, he also inherited an assload of ancient shiz inside it. Including vintage kitchen appliances, hideous pink china sets, and more side tables than we know what to do with (but those will come out another day). If anyone’s into antiquing, swing by our place and we’ll hook you up.
We put chicken sausage (sliced up) on a home made pizza the other night. It was kind of a fail. Much happier with chicken sausages whole, with mustard, maybe on a bun.
I love all the fancy weird sausage flavors. Chicken and apple? Sure! If only they had vodka flavored.
I’m Anna’s sister and I was going to say that actually the hand IS pretty small, but she beat me to it.
Also, Oregon Trail ruled the early 90’s. Without that game, how would kids have learned about things like Cholera and Dysentery? Or how to caulk a wagon?
potty mouth UN cracked me up.
I used to LOVE Oregon Trail! My peeps always got dysentary, and I remember my oxen drowning a few times when trying to cross that stupid river.
K-Dizzle - Oh, I’ll pay cash for sure.
Erin - Bear hunting was fun. Always disappointing that you could only bring 100lbs back to the wagon.
Janet - Thanks for your kind words re: Lawnmower. Thinking about playing BoyzIIMen at the ceremony.
Anna - Fetus Hands. Ha
Al - We’ve been rocking the cheese-filled sausages. Everything is better when filled with cheese.
Meg - Yes. Oregon Trail was actually my introduction to outsourcing/hiring contractors. I always hired the Indian guide to help me across the river.
Brandi - You have to plan for a couple wagon disasters. Buy a couple more Yolk! I can’t remember my SS#, but I’ll never forget that there are three oxen in a yolk.
Awww….are us Hoosiers really so bad?
Yes, I was kept awake by fireworks Thursday, Friday, Saturday AND last night. Here’s hoping they are done.
Gilbert and Penny - sittin in a tree…
Holly - This post did end up being pretty anti-Indiana, didn’t it? I can’t bash the state as a whole (especially since I lived there for the better part of a decade). I think it was just the town/village that we lived in. I doubt Indianapolis proper or some of the other cities have the same issues.
Alli - You know it. Working on the save the date cards.
omg, I have’t laughed that hard in ages. hilarious!
Hey Nate!
Yep, us Indiana folks are pretty crusty, I admit.
Toby Keith has some great songs, no? We love him. Did ya know that D and I are going to see Sugarland and Little Big Town and Joey and Rory on Thursday night? It’s a big ol’ country fest of hicks (us) and I can’t wait!!
See ya later, LOVE the blog. Tell Kate I am glad she likes my fridge. It’s currently full of blueberries.
lk - Glad you enjoyed it.
Polly - not gonna lie…I’ve seen Toby a few times in concert. Saw him in Champaign with Willie Nelson…that was a great show. Also saw him with Montgomery Gentry a couple years ago. He puts on a good show…have a great time, and be thankful that you don’t live in Danville, IN. Most of my anti-Indiana feelings are focused primarily on Hendricks County.
love that oregon trail! I always managed to die of cholera…
My neighbors were have a 5th of July festival last night, complete with illegal fireworks and pot smoking. Did I mention I live 2 blocks from the police station??
Yeah!!! Guest post from Kate, please! Also, GM stock is definitely up (I could make some joke here about General Motors still being bankrupt, but that would be lame–so I won’t, but I’ll still admit to even considering it). Have you checked out greenmonstermovement.com? Insanity!
I would also consider trying out the banana ice cream if I could be assured it didn’t taste just like eating a banana, because bananas on their own aren’t my thing.
And I am sorry for your lawnmower loss. I’ll be having a moment of silence later on today in memorium.
Just reading the words Spin Doctors made me smile. But then I sang Two Princes (loudly) which made my husband NOT smile.
Graduate Derek! I love it. I hope he comes to the Summit.
Also, did I tell you I went to each housewife’s house? And by “went” I mean Mr. Hangry drove slowly and my friend took pictures.
If you come over this week, I’ll make you banana ice cream. It tastes AMAZING!
Bummer about the lawnmower. RIP.
Gotta agree on the food blogland patriotism–I swear every post (including mine) had some sort of red, white, & blue food!
I totally did not know you could block certain words from your commments. I am going to have fun with that one, and I’m so sorry to hear of your lawnmower’s passing…man, Kate’s laptop did not live long at all!
Ha ha - I met the lead singer of the Spin Doctors backstage once, and yes, he could totally pass for a victim of Scurvy.
Oh, and we totally tried to put the birthday hat on Einstein, but we were denied.
Hilarious Nate…as always.
P.S. Amazing Grass - blech!
Danville, IN? Hahahah. Sorry, that sucks. I mean, I am from Crawfordsville, but thankfully right now I live in Bloomington
I for one would love to see a guest post from Kate. I am very curious as to what your wife would be like? : )
RIP Lawnmover. Moment of silence startinggggggg now.
So anyway, I’ve been blogstalking YOU for awhile now and now that I have my own blog, I thought I’d stop by and say hello! I definitely think Kate should do a post!!!!
I think more bloggers need to start talking about chiggers too. Someone recently commented on my blog and said, “I hope you didn’t get chiggers.” Believe it or not, this is the first that I’ve heard of them, so I’m hoping I never had them.
Definitely a post from Kate! And you should post a pic your fridge!
Regarding the banana ice cream… I made boyfriend Bill try it, and he hated it. Therefore, it did not change his life. He said he hates “banana-flavored things.” When I told him this was “actual-banana” not “banana-flavored,” - it still didn’t sway him. It was too sweet and banana-like for his taste. So there is a non-life-changing story for you. I still think it’s worth a try.
Hmmm..I remember playing Oregon Trail back in elementary school when mac computers still had the rainbow apple icon on them. When stocking up on goods before hitting the trail, I never wanted to buy the essentials like beef or water. I would buy new shirts and flour. The flour was for the cookies I would bake. You know, in my oven in the back of the wagon while all my oxen die from diseases and dehydration. Oregon Trail in the computer lab also reminds me of the time in elementary school when we did president projects. Too bad my teacher didn’t inform us that whitehouse.com is a porn site and the official website ends in .gov. Almost as embarrassing as your dad being a sex-ed teacher. Almost.
I believe you could carry back 200 pounds of meat to your wagon.
We played Oregon Trail in real life in my 5th grade class. We were grouped into wagons by desks, had to buy supplies, and then our teacher would read off the events. For example, she’d read to the class, “Your wagon broke down. You can fix it if you have a maul [or whatever], or you can pay X amount of money and food to another wagon in the class.” It was pretty fun. Well, not really.
I am with you on the Chicken Sausages, brother! They are not getting enough press! Rock on with Chicken Apple Sausage! What’s better than a Chicken sausage with brown mustard and cheese? Except if it had pickle…
haha! so true about those green monsters! Amazing Grass is eh.
Nate. Where you be? I need my blogger updates. Pretty please? And can you please mention that Homie and I took a damn party bus home? Because I haven’t seen that in blogland yet. Ok, you don’t have to if you don’t like. But I have been thinking about sending you tips via email when something, well, irks me. Anyway, back to VegNews work. Latuhhh.