The BlogStalker

Hi Friends,

How is everyone doing? Good, glad to hear it. I still haven’t gotten around to writing my year in review post, so sorry about that. I’ll try to do that sometime soon. I’m having surgery in a couple of days, so whenever I get around to writing that post, I’ll likely be under the influence of pain medication. That should make it more entertaining.

Things are going well here. Feeling better and eating healthier. Those two things just might be related. Kate and I had a good time in Tucson, although it was odd for me to go to Arizona and not have any margaritas or chimichangas. I’m sure my internal organs will thank me later for that.

Since I’m too lazy to do an actual blog post, I figured I’d just do a twitter roundup post. For those of you not on Twitter, this will likely not make any sense to you. Or, maybe it’ll motivate you to create a Twitter account and start following all of these bloggers (and me too).

I’m still not sure how I feel about Twitter. Sometimes I think it’s great - typically when I’m in a waiting room, in a cab, or on the tarmac. It takes little to no effort, which is always a plus for me. But sometimes I agree with John Mayer (@johncmayer) who once said that Twitter was “one step away from sending pictures of your poop.” Then again, he tweets all the time and has 2 Million+ followers.

Tweeting is much easier than real blogging. So I’m guessing that a Twitterstalking post will also be easier than Blogstalking. So here are a few of the bloggers that I follow on Twitter and a brief description of what they usually blog about.

Angela at Oh She Glows (@ohsheglows) - I think Angela actually has about 14 different Twitter accounts for her various business ventures (globakery, green monster movement) - hell, I think her cat even has a Twitter account. Angela’s tweets usually focus on her multiple trips to the post office or the countless glo bars that she has baked on a given day. I’ve crunched some numbers, and based on her recent tweets, Angela has sold more Glo Bars than Tim Horton has sold cups of coffee in the past year. I was going to use McDonalds Cheeseburgers, but decided to use a Canadian reference for our blogger from the North.

Heather of Hangry Pants (@hangrypants) - Hangry Heather usually tweets something funny about Hangry Mark (@markremo). Then Hangry Mark usually tweets something about video games that I don’t understand. So then I have to Google whatever video game he is talking about. Then I end up spending 15 minutes on some video game website and all of a sudden Twitter has gone from being a painless time waster to a significant time commitment. Damn you, Twitter.

Caitlin Pancake (@caitlinhtp) - HTP tweets all damn day. Sometimes I just count the number of HTP tweets and then graph them out by day in Excel. Yes, my life is really that exciting. Anyway, HTP tweets about everything, from her lack of morning showering, to her day-drinking exploits, to 20 mile runs after day-drinking. I would vote her as the food blogger most likely to tweet about…well, just about anything.

Hmm, I guess I lied. These descriptions aren’t very brief.  I’ll try to shrink these down a bit…

Jenna (@EatLiveRun) - Typically something about wine and/or acrobatics (various yoga poses or, more recently, headstands).

Fitnesstestinista (@fitnessista) - Something about going to Starbucks. Per Twitter, she goes to Starbucks more than a full-time barista. But she turns into Snoop Dog whilst tweeting, so it is frequency referred to as ‘the bizzle’ or something similar.

Everyone’s favorite Homegirl (@homegirlcaneat) - Usually something about booze, Irish boys, or San Francisco.  Sometimes it’s the homegirl trifecta…something like ‘Shots in SF with the O’Reilly Boys.’

C’n'C Blogging Factory (@CarrotsNCake) - Mostly pictures of Murphy and Mal - I don’t mind, as both are cute as a button.

Twitter Stock Up
Missing your dog while on vacation
Tweeting about hotel rooms
Tweeting about whatever song you are listening to on Grooveshark

Twitter Stock Down
Pandora tweets
Retweeting from celebrities
Tweeting pictures of food

Well, that’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll be back in a few days for the roundup post. Oh, and if you have any good recommendations of famous people that I should follow on Twitter (or non-famous people, I guess) please post as comments. Have a happy new year, and I’ll try to do better next time.

-Nate (@blogstalker)

Hi Friends,

I’d like to start this post by saying thanks to all of you for your support. I really appreciate all of the kind comments, tweets, and emails. Even some of the Russian spam comments said get well soon - or maybe they were trying to sell me a bride - my Russian isn’t very good. Anyway, thanks again so much for all of the blog love.

Quick Medical Update
So it took four days and two more doctors appointments to  prove what the first doctor said. Turns out that my gall bladder is pretty much hosed and  I also have elevated liver enzymes. El Doctor says the gall bladder gotsta go, so that’s going to happen in the next couple of weeks. No medical treatment needed for the liver - it just needs me to quit being such a dickhead. No booze and no fatty food and it should start to forgive me.

So that’s about it…could’ve been a whole lot worse so I’m thankful for that. Still pissed at myself for damage done, but not much I can do about it at this point.

A Couple Things that I’ve learned

1. Our healthcare system really isn’t very efficient. Yeah, that one is probably obvious to anyone who had been to a doctor in the past decade, but other than a physical, I don’t really fit into that category. I was not aware that the family doctor is now some kind of doc block that is the gatekeeper between me and specialists. I think Brian Williams told me something about that on the evening news, but I got to see it firsthand. Family doctor is able to provide insightful commentary like - “altering your diet and increasing exercise should help in the long run. ” No shit? Did you read my blog? Can I have my $25 back now?

2. People in the healthcare industry don’t like my jokes. Here are a few examples:

Example #1 Doctor Office Manager Lady calls to schedule some tests. Here’s our conversation:

Lady - Just calling to confirm your appointment at 8:30 tomorrow morning with Dr. (Name Redacted)

Me - Okay, thanks

Lady - Also, you aren’t supposed to eat after midnight

Me - Right, and I’m not supposed to get them wet either, right or else they’ll turn mean?

Lady - Excuse me?

Me - Oh, haven’t you ever seen Gremlins?

Lady - No

Me - I promise that would’ve been funny if you had seen Gremlins

(Awkward Pause)

Lady - So 8:30 tomorrow

Me - Okay, thanks for calling

Example #2 - Ultrasound tech is taking pictures of my gut this morning and I tell her that I’m hoping for twins. No response.

Example #3 -Doctor tells me about liver issues and talks about the risks of a fatty liver. I say yes, but on the plus side, I could produce a delicious foie gras. I get crickets.

Example #4 - Kate thanks the Nurse’s assistant who is shaving my chest and says that she appreciates the manscaping, and that she’d pay extra if she shaved my entire chest. I laughed at that one.

Maybe I’d get a laugh if I sunk to a Patch Adams style of comedy, but I just can’t do that.

3. Some people can go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning. I am not one of those people. Kate goes spinning at 5:30 on most days, and I thought I’d go to the gym and try it out with her. That was not such a good idea. During my entire workout, I had that feeling that you get when you turn the lights on to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Like you know it’s necessary to have the light on for accuracy, but it’s really annoying to your eyes and the rest of your head. Hmm, now that I think about this, about 98% of my readers are female, so this one might not make sense. Al, Ian, Mal, and other male lurkers, you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I’ve decided that 5:30 workouts are not sustainable for me in the long run. So I’ll stick with going running at about 7:15 in the morning, while the rest of the world is driving to work.

A Few Small Repairs - Here are a few of the things that I’m working on

Back to eating this for breakfast like Kath tells me to

And avoiding this

More nights spent here

And fewer nights spent here

Drinking more of these, like OSG does

Drinking none of these (at least for now)

More time spent with these people at their favorite place

And less time spent with these ladies

So that’s what’s up right now. I promise I’ll get back to our regularly scheduled blogstalking in the near future. Hangrypants has requested a Blogstalker year in review, so I’m going to do that before the end of the year for sure.

Thanks again for all the love,
Nate

Hi Friends,

Yeah, I know…no posts for five months is not cool. Not really going to discuss that at this point. Thanks for keeping me on your google reader or finding me through other means. Also, I’m probably not going to talk much about other blogs tonight. Just wanted to give you all an update on what has been going on with me lately.

I just figured I’d give you an update on my weekend. It started on Friday like way too many days have started for me recently - waking up at 4:30 AM to catch a flight. Then meetings, then my company holiday party where I had a great time, but ate and drank way too much. Then Manhattans at a cigar bar until 1:00 AM in the morning. Yeah, that was a super healthy day.

Saturday started with a super unhealthy omelette (instead of a run) and then Kate and I started driving to Chicago. About a half hour outside of Indianapolis, I started having chest pains. About five minutes later I was gasping for breath and on the way to the emergency room (with Kate driving super fast in Middleofnowheresville, Indiana). Which brings us to the fantastic ‘before’ pictures…

That’s me in the emergency room in Frankfort, IN. I was pretty sure that my unhealthy ass was having a heart attack. Pretty sure that isn’t the case, but it was a pretty fantastic wake-up call. Having a 17 year-old nurse’s assistant shave your chest hair with a disposable razor while prepping you for an EKG puts things in pretty good perspective. Sadly, Dr. House did not consult on my chest x-ray.

At this point, I’m not quite sure what made me feel like I was passing the octokids out of my belly button, but I’m headed to the doctor to find out. I’ll keep ya’ll posted on the official diagnosis. All I know at this point is that the doctor thinks it’s my gall bladder not wanting to spend any additional time in my body. He also mentioned something about my liver being sort of pissed at me too, but again, I’ll keep you posted when I know for sure.

If you’re keeping score at home, I’ve gone from this

to this

In record time.

How the hell did we get here? I’m not really sure, but I’ve given it some thought for the last couple of days. Kate and I were dealt a pretty shitty hand a few months ago, and my exponential weight gain seems to correspond with that major kick in the junk. Not going to get into the details of that one…it’ll probably be a book at some point (once we figure out a happy ending), but some really shitty news (and my inability to deal with it constructively) has led to my full on assult on the drink and appetizer menu.

So I guess that the moral of the story is that emotional eating is not reserved only for ex-girlfriends sitting on the couch in their pajamas eating Haagen Dazs directly from the container. Comes in all shapes and sizes, including too many drinks and unhealthy meals at the airport bar. Johnny Walker and Papa John should not be my best friends when shit happens.

And we’ve been here before. Mostly because of my inability to find some kind of balance. There has to be a place for me between Tim Tebow and Tiger Woods on the consumption spectrum. And to clarify, in my case I’m talking about cocktails and cocktail weenies, and not cocktail waitresses. Anyway, finding a balance between one extreme of running 40 miles a week while consuming less than 2000 calories per day and my current state of turning even the healthiest restaurants into the ‘not that’ page of Eat This, Not That. So that’s what I’m going to do at this point - look for some balance.

The words to live by on this quest were overheard a couple of weeks ago at Disney World. Kate and I were walking through Epcot Center over Thanksgiving break. If  you haven’t been to Disney in the past 20 years, you may not know that it has been overrun with super morbids and type 2 cases cruising around on rascal scooters. So we heard a young dad turn to his little girl and say “honey, just take care of your body and it will take care of you.” He wasn’t talking to me, but I’m going to take him up on his advice.

Since I’ve danced this dance in the past, but seem to be coming back to where I started, I’ve decided that I need some help. Actually, I need a lot of help.

Kate - She has already started helping me out. Making sure I drink water, take my vitamins, control my portion size, and get to the gym. Not the crazy crash bullshit that I have done too many times in the past, but really just trying to find balance. She’s even convinced me to drink a couple of Green Monsters. I think that’s her favorite part - getting me to eat/drink the stuff that she sees on all of your blogs. She does have a vested interest in this as well, as nobody really wants to be a 29 year old widow. So we’ll just act like an old married couple and nag each other about meds and diet, in the hopes that we’ll live long enough to actually be an old married couple.

Friends - Cut me off if a drink after work turns into a trip around the appetizer menu and a few rounds of beers. I won’t be pissed off at you, I promise. Really, I can live without going all ‘Noah’s Ark’ on the appetizer menu and ordering two of everything. Who needs that? And if you’re planning on going for a run, ask me if I’d like to join. It’ll be a good warmup for you, although it might be good if you know CPR, just in case. Just kidding. Not really. Maybe.

Clients - Yes, I know there are some of you out there. As much as you like to see my smiling face all the time, if I turn down an onsite visit, it’s not because I don’t love you. I’m going to try to cut back on my travel schedule a bit - still working just as hard, but fewer redeyes and trips across the country. Oh, and keep an eye on me during the three hour dinner meetings as well.

Coworkers - You all know that I’m pretty shitty at asking for help, but I’m going to try to do that in the future. I need your help as I try to play nicely with others on projects.

Family - Continued love and support. And dad, make me sign up for a couple of races with you and run with you on the greenway.

The Rest of Blogland - Comment, tweet, whatever, and ask me how I’m doing. If I tweet that I’m consuming a 96 oz steak, feel free to reply in all caps.

So that’s about it. I hope you enjoyed the awesome before pictures. I’m going to do my best to keep this journey documented. Not going to become a food blogger and take pictures of everything that I eat (if you think it’s awkward to take pictures of your food while you’re skinny - trying doing that in public while you’re fat…you look/feel like a complete freakshow). So not sure what this is going to look like. Might keep posting on blogstalker, and might start another one. I have a habit of starting (and abandoning) blogs. We’ll keep it here for now.

Thanks to all for your support. If I don’t post in a couple weeks, it probably means I’ve had a grabber and I’m dead. Just kidding, I’m probably just busy.

Talk to you later,
Nate