This Week in Blogs, Volume XII
Hi Friends. Thanks for stopping by. How was your week? Good…glad to hear it. Pretty good week here. To follow up on last week’s recap, I survived my meeting with the doctor on Wednesday. No horrible illnesses or diseases, so that’s cool. The doctor did say that he’d like to see me lose a little weight. To which I replied “yeah, me too.” I’m glad that I’m on the same page as my medical professional. See you next year, doctor. Enjoy the $25 copay.
I’m sorry to report that I won’t be posting next week. Actually, I’m not sorry at all. Kate and I are heading to Cabo for the next 10 days or so. I’ll have limited access to phone, email, and sobriety. Hmm, maybe I should put that as my out of office message. Nah…probably not. Might not have a job to come back to if I did that. Anyway, I doubt I’ll be spending a whole lot of time reading blogs in the next week or so. I’ll be back with my weekly recap on the 26th, as long as I don’t end up with Swine Flu or something.
Alright. One sort of funny story and then we’ll get to the blog review. Kate spent the last couple of evenings googling Gilbert’s dog breed (in between looking at all of your blogs, of course). Searches included: Shar Pei Rat Terrier, Rat Pei, and Shar Terrier. Then she’d find pictures of similar looking dogs, and would show them to Gilbert. Usually saying things like “Gilbert, come look at your sister.” Then she mentioned that she wanted to find Gilbert’s family so we could have a reunion. So totally joking, I recommended that she check out ancestry.com to find Gil’s relatives and then I went back to watching bad television. About ten minutes later, Kate says “I don’t think this is going to work…it’s just stuff about people and their ancestors.” Apparently she thought I was serious and had looked for Gilbert’s ancestors online. That was probably the highlight of my week. Okay, now time for the blog review.
Kelsey from Bites and Bowls has taken the top spot away from Hangry Pants, which means I got some free shiz. Kind of, but not really. Kelsey jacked one of my Smart Ones on Saturday night/Sunday morning, which you can read about in this post. To repay me, she brought over a box of Twilight-Inspired Conversation Hearts. They came in a box with the dreamy Edward Cullen on the package, and the hearts said things like “Bite Me” and “Live Forever.” They were delicious, even though it’s four months after their originally scheduled consumption date. So thanks B+B for the free shiz. In that post by Kelsey, you’ll notice that she and I sang karaoke backup to Matt last weekend on Nuthin’ But a G Thang. I volunteered to sing the Dre parts, which I thought meant I’d just say ‘hell yeah’ in a low voice over and over again. Turns out that Dre actually has a verse. Oh, and I also found out that if there’s a ‘radio friendly’ (or wal-mart friendly) version of a song, then that’s probably the version that the karaoke guy will have. I was singing the album version. So I’d like to apologize to the patrons of the Yellow Rose for my bad language, but I think I was singing the song in the way that Dre and Snoop wanted it to be sung. Except for the whole drunk white guy in a dive bar in suburban Charlotte North Carolina part. Hell yeah.
Emily at Super Caloric Chalk Dust tagged me in this post, which appears to be some kind of chain letter/post. I heart Super Caloric, but I’m not really a chain letter responder kind of guy, so I’m just going to talk about Emily and her blog and we’ll say that I’ve fulfilled my chain letter duties, okay? That way, if this is really some kind of scam, then I won’t be considered an accomplice. As far as I can tell, the only difference between a chain letter and a pyramid scheme is that nobody gets rich with a chain letter. People just end up giving personal details (like their lack of at home pants wearing) instead of ending up with mad loot. And for this chain blog thing to take off, they should probably include some threat of dismemberment or disfigurement. Those both seem like good motivators for old school chain letters. Like send a pair of flip flops to 10 of your best friends or else you’ll get the hiv or something. So I’m going to make my own rules instead. By being tagged, it means I should stop eating peaches, and should go on vacation and sit on the beach for a couple of weeks. Okay…sold.
Tina at Carrots ‘n’ Cake made some dong-shaped cupcakes in this post. At first I thought this was really out of character for the C ‘n’ C blogging factory. I mean she usually does nice things like pictures of parks in Boston and funny stories about Mal, and out of nowhere come these iced dongs. But then I read the post, and it turns out that it was part of a bachelorette weekend party thing. This makes sense. Bachelorette parties are one of only three scenarios where graphic depictions of man junk are socially acceptable. The others are junior high (sex ed class) and episodes of Oprah when Dr. Oz is the guest. That damn Dr. Oz is always talking about man bits. Speaking of sex ed…did I ever tell y’all that my dad was my sex ed teacher in Jr. High? I can’t remember if that was on this blog or another blog. Anyway, this is reason #1 why I haven’t been embarrassed since 7th grade. Nothing tops that. Nothing.
Speaking of wangs, Snackface made a pretty fantastic reference to Trey MacDougal’s flaccidity in this post. I know, this post is more than a week old, but it was probably the funniest thing that I read this week, and it’s my blog, so I’m making an exception and including it in the weekly roundup. Mostly because I’m planning on stealing this line and calling anything limp ‘Trey-Like’ from now on. We’ll see if it sticks. Cut to my favorite scene from Mean Girls when Regina George says ’stop trying to make fetch happen.’ Say what you want about LiLo, but Mean Girls is one of the best movies in the history of the world. Ever. And shame on me for just now writing about Snackface…there’s no excuse for that. I mean, she has SATC references in her posts, she attends Matt Lauer’s alma mater, and she hangs out with homegirl. How did it take me 12 installments to write about her? I say again, shame on me.
Stock Up
Amazing Wheat Grass - Really? We’re drinking grass now? I’ll take healthy eating stereotypes for $200, Alex. This is like a bad commercial for a casual dining establishment. Like the family goes to the health food restaurant and everyone is drinking grass, then the dad makes a stupid face so the family goes to Flingers for some jalapeno poppers or something instead. Ugh.
Blogapalooza References - This is pretty much the social event of the summer. I’m looking forward to this almost as much as the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Healthy Twilight Pancake had a nice post about it where she asked readers which bloggers they wanted to meet. I almost signed in under random names to stuff the ballot in my favor.
Free Shiz - Not for me, but there are some contests worth mentioning. The Professional Vegan is giving away some books…Fast Food Nation and Food Inc. I didn’t know they wrote books about those movies, but you can find out the details here. In other free shiz news, Kori at All things B is giving away some of that Amazing Grass in this post. In other news, I’m going to mow my lawn on Saturday before we leave town, so I’ll be having a grass giveaway as well if you want to come over and pick up the clippings. It’ll save me some raking.
Summer haircuts - I’d like to think that this is because I got my fro cut off last week, but I doubt I’m really a trendsetter here. Post-Graduate Meghannnn and birthday girl Jenna were among the multiple bloggers who got ‘em all cut this week. Am I really talking about the hair cutting schedules of people I’ve never met before. What the hell is wrong with me? But if I meet them all at blogapalooza, it won’t be quite as creepy, right?
Stock Down
Mean Anonymous Comments - Actually there have been way too many of them recently, but I give them a big thumbs down. If you want to be a wanker and get into a comment pissing match, go to a political or news blog or something. Anonymous mean comments on food/health blogs are just dumb. Props to Fitnestestinesstia and her pilot on the way they handled this one. Critical comments are okay. Just leave your name so we can engage in a healthy dialogue. Or so I can leave a flaming bag of poo on your doorstep.
Gluten - I really don’t know what gluten is, but people seem to be avoiding it. I could google it and find out what it is, but I’m a firm believer that for everything I learn, I forget another thing, and I don’t want to forget anything, And please don’t try to educate me via comments, or else I’ll forget my 2nd grade teacher’s name.
Soy - People seem to be anti-soy this week as well. I’m alright with that, as long as it just means I should avoid faux meat (like Soy Burgers and Soy Sausage). Consider it done. But don’t make me give up my soy sauce and edamame. Can we make an exception there?
Foods that end in consonants - I’m not sure why, but there have been lots of posts about foods that end with vowels. A prime example of this is Rose’s Frittata and Scone post. That’s a double word score. Keep in mind that Pat and Vanna are going to charge you $250 apiece for those.
Alright friends. That’s all I’ve got. See you in a couple of weeks. We’ll try to do better next time.
