The BlogStalker

Hi Friends,

Welcome back. Seems like we just talked. Now I’m back on track, so hopefully I can stick to my rigorous 1 post/week schedule. We’ll see how that goes. Hmm…trying to think of interesting things that have happened since my last post. Oh, here’s one…

Kelsey of Bites and Bowls fame is moving to a new place. She’s out of town and needed someone to help move some possessions (couch, bed, etc). This is right in my wheelhouse, as two of my greatest skills are lifting heavy things and reaching tall things, so I was more than happy to help her out. Problem is that her possessions > Size of my SUV. So this meant renting a truck. No big deal…figured I’d get the little truck and it would be fine. Turns out that they don’t rent the little trucks for in-town moves. I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out how that could make any sense at all. Still working on it. Anyway, I got to drive the big 16 foot yellow truck through Uptown Charlotte. During the lunch hour. When most of the roads that I needed to drive on were under construction. Or closed. Or were one way streets with the cars going in the opposite direction. Now I consider myself a pretty good driver. No accidents or speeding tickets in 13 years of driving. But I never did figure out if there’s a way to make a right turn in the big yellow truck without taking out the curb or the people that are standing on it. So I have a new-found respect for real truck drivers, and I’ll probably stop pumping my fist when I pass them (trying to get them to honk) as they have more important things to focus on, and most people grow out of that when they turn 10. Oh, and the moving was totally worth it, as Kelsey had left beer and barney butter for met at her new place. And she gave me some Great Harvest blondies that Matt made. I must say that they were every bit as good as a VeggieGirl blondie. Actually, I can’t say that, because I still haven’t tried these VG Blondies (hint) that everyone else speaks of, but these were good blondies.

In other news, Kate picked up this new shampoo at the store. She wanted me to mention that it was free with a rebate.

Sorry for the poor photo quality. If you can’t read that, it says it includes coconut milk and egg white proteins. It just so happens that I was making brinner last night and was short 1 egg from making the ideal omelette. The thought crossed my mind to supplement my eggs with some of this shampoo. I mean, it says it includes egg whites and milk, which is what I was looking for. I decided that the shampoo might include other ingredients as well, so I did not make a shampoo omelette. I’ll keep you posted if I change my mind at a future brinner.

Hmm…trying to think if anything else exciting happened this week. I think I only left the house by car one other time since the last time I blogged, so I got nothin. Guess I’ll get going with the blog review.

Jenn from Eating Bender is in Maui with Ma Bender and she’s even blogging from vacationland. This shows true dedication to the blog, something that I clearly don’t have. Now I’ve actually been pretty anti-Hawaii when people suggest it as a potential vacation spot. That’s probably an understatement. I react to the Hawaii suggestion the same way that Kate reacts when someone mentions Angelina Jolie. I don’t know what it is, but I have no urge to go to Hawaii. It’s mostly because when I hear my coworkers or friends talk about their trips to Hawaii, it seems like there’s some kind of vacation checklist - like a list of 5-7 touristy things that every mainland tourist does when they go to Hawaii. It usually goes something like “volcano, blah blah blah, luau, blah blah pig and hula dancers and fire, blah blah seven sacred somethings, blah blah oh and the pineapple at the hotel blah blah.” I’m sure there are thousands of fun things to do in Hawaii, but it seems like everyone does the same five things. So my anti-Hawaii feelings are driven by either this tourist checklist theory, or some fear that I’ll end up like one of the Real World Hawaii cast members. Either a trainwreck like Ruthie or a completely unwatchable assbag like Colin/Amaya. But then Bender did her first vacation post and I thought “hmm, Hawaii looks nice” so maybe I’m getting over it. I think it was the pizza. Anyway, thanks for changing my thoughts on this Bender.

Mark Hangry (from Hangry and Hangry, LLC) is giving away a cookbook in this post. I’m not a really big cookbook reader. For me, it’s sort of like the owner’s manual in my car. I can read through it and look at the pictures, but at the end of the day, I’ll probably just outsource the actual work. I read enough to know that I’m not capable of doing what needs to be done. But this looks like an interesting cookbook. Mr. Hangry mentions that there is a toilet paper icon next to recipes that make you go. I think restaurant menus should offer the same thing. Mark Hangry also came up with a creative entry process for joining his contest. None of this add me to your blogroll nonsense for the Hangrys. No, you have to come up with a poem about the blogger to enter. I’m a big fan of creative contest requirements like this. Links and tweets are not the only currency that we can use for contests, blogland. So please take Mr. Hangry’s lead and come up with creative rules and regs for your free shiz giveaways.

Everyone’s favorite Homegirl had a nice post about babysitting. It was one of those posts that makes you want to be a little kid again. I want to sit in a wagon and eat ice cream while someone pulls me to the park. Although that would be pretty strange at my current age and size.  She mentioned that one of the kids was going to Circus Camp, which sent me into flashback mode. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here or not, but I spent the majority of my childhood as a circus performer. You can get all of the details of my circus life in this post. I have hung up my sequins and spandex (to the delight of anyone who has their sight), but I will occasionally still juggle. Like after a few drinks at Universal Studios CityWalk when I want to show up a clown with my skills. I never miss an opportunity to show up a clown. That’s not slang…I mean a guy wearing face paint and making animal balloons. I hate clowns.

Rose from On a Lobster Placemat (my favorite blog name ever) did something interesting at the end of this post. She asked for male readers to de-lurk and introduce themselves. I proudly followed her orders and identified myself. I think men are an underrepresented group in food blog land. My working theory is that readership skews about 90/10 female. I have absolutely nothing to base this on. The only guys that comment on my blog are related to me, friends of mine, or other bloggers that I write about. So I’ll steal Rose’s idea. Male blogstalker readers, please identify yourself. Female readers, do the same thing. This way I’ll end up with lots of comments, and it’ll make this blog look popular.

In other news, I have grown increasingly jealous of Jenna from Eat, Live, Run for landing an interview for the coolest job in the world. You can read about it in this post. From what I gather, a winery in Napa is interviewing Jenna and some other people (who I’m also jealous of) for a job where they use their social media influence to promote the winery. It involves hanging out in Napa and getting paid good money to blog/tweet/post about wine. Um, yes please. At first I thought this would be the perfect job for me. I mean, I like drinking wine, I love Napa, and I sort of work in social/interactive/online stuff with my real job. Then I thought about it, and figured that it would lead to increased drogging, and that all of my tweets would probably just be quotes from Sideways - quotes that out of context could be viewed as vulgar and offensive. So I’d probably get fired. Best of luck to Jenna in landing the job, as it would be an awesome opportunity and may lead to some wine giveaways on ELR. I usually don’t enter contests, but if wine is involved, I’ll make an exception.

Stock Up

Protein Powder - Blogland is bulking up with muscles like Major League Baseball in the 1990s. This could lead to a new foodbuzz steroid policy. Let’s hope that Barney Butter doesn’t end up on the banned substances list.

Spinoff Blogs - Like Operation Beautiful and Green Monster Movement - which seem to be successful spinoffs (like Frasier). I’m having trouble keeping up one blog, so don’t expect a blogstalker spinoff anytime soon.

Blogger Meet-ups - Well, not really a trend, but we’re going to dinner with KERF, Pinky, and the C&C Blogging Factory tonight, so that counts, right?

Biking - I think it has something to do with the Tour de France.

Apple(s) - Both the technological and edible kinds. Most bloggers are getting their recommended apple a day. And those who aren’t eating their apples are playing with their iPhones or trying to win a MacBook Pro.

Stock Down

Television viewing options - I’m done with Summer re-runs. I need my housewives to return. And Jon and Kate. And 30 Rock. I could go on, but you get the idea.

The Today Show - I love my Matt and Meredith time (and Hoda and Kathie Lee) but this has been a bad week. Al is on vacation, and I don’t think Willard even did his smuckers birthday list this week.

Juicing - Our juicer is collecting dust, and Fitnessestenista had a near juicing disaster. I expect juicing to make a strong comeback in the upcoming weeks.

The Sun - I haven’t seen it yet this week. Maybe because it has been really cloudy. Or maybe because I haven’t left the house much.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. See you next Friday, and we’ll try to do better next time.

Hi Friends. Thanks for coming back. Sorry that I haven’t posted since last Friday. I actually haven’t been doing much blogstalking this week, so I’m not sure how this is going to go this week. But I do have a few valid reasons for my decreased blogging/blogstalking:

1. I was traveling for work all week. I still haven’t figured out how to make blogstalking a billable expense. 

2. When I did have free time on the interweb, I spent most of it watching this video. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop watching it. 

3. Due to an unfortunate incident, Kate’s laptop is no longer with us. Not only does it have an earthquake fault line running from the top of the monitor to the bottom, but it also has contracted the blue screen of death. So Kate’s blogstalking has decreased 100%.

Sorry about the poor picture quality. The late laptop is the one that has our photo software on it, so this picture is brought to you by my iPhone. Awesome.

They just don’t make ‘em like they used to. HP/Apple/Dell…if you’re listening…we’re a laptop down over here. Hint hint.

Alright. Enough with the excuses. Here’s what I’ve got from my limited blogstalking…

Caitlin Tipping Point is detoxing after a college-style weekend spent at the Shenandoah Apple Blossom Festival. You can find her ‘blogger gone wild’ post here. This was probably one of my favorite posts of the week. Kate and I had a discussion a couple weeks ago about what our blogs would look like if we had been food bloggers in college. Of course we didn’t have food blogs in college, because we’re old and the interweb didn’t exist back then. But we’re amazed at how healthy all of the college food bloggers are these days. My college food blog would look a whole lot like Caitlin’s Apple Blossom post. Dinner would be a large pizza and a twelve pack (insert pictures of sweet, sweet college). Late night snack would be Southern Comfort and one of my roommate’s pet goldfish (insert slightly blurry pictures). Breakfast would be served around noon and would be a 64 ounce orange Gatorade, a couple of Advil, and leftover pizza crust from the night before (insert picture of the pizza box in the garbage can, and me rescuing the discarded crust). Oh, the memories.

Kath has spent the last few days freaking out about a snake that she found in her garage. Now, I’ve got no problem with her freaking out about a snake. I’m not a fan of snakes. My beef is with the snake’s name. Those of you who have wandered off of the home page may have noticed that our dog son’s name is Gilbert. Then Kath goes and names her garage snake Gilbert too. This is not cool at all. There is only room for one Gilbert in Charlotte blogland, and he is covered in fur. I expressed my concern to Kath and she said she’d stop talking about Gilbert the snake if I came over and removed it from their garage. I actually considered it for a good 30 seconds, but then I thought that even if I got rid of the snake, there would probably be a KERF post about me removing the snake and it would be Gilbert this and Gilbert that all over again. I just can’t win. Doesn’t the snake have a middle name or something that we can call him instead? Maybe I’ll start a petition to get his name changed. Nah, I’ll just read some more blogs instead.

Heather at Heat the Salmon Butt made some purple cauliflower in this post. I did not know that things existed in nature in that color. I was giving Crayola all the credit for bright ass purple (it can only be found in the big box of crayons). Good to know. I doubt I’d like the cauliflower, but I do appreciate the color. I like foods where I can correctly identify the color. I’m not very good with colors. Another way to say that would be to say that I’m sort of color blind, but that makes it sound like it’s a big deal, so I prefer to say that I’m not good with colors. Most people don’t know that about me until I completely mess up the color of something and they look at me like I’m stupid. I’ll usually say something like, pass me the green peppers. They’ll look at me, and then pass me the peppers which are most likely red. I can usually just blame it on the wine. But with this cauliflower, I am 100% sure of the color, so maybe I should give it a try. Who am I kidding…I’m not going to eat cauliflower. 

It was an exciting week for Jenn at Eating Bender. Not only did she finish 90 days of P90X, but she also got engaged to Bobby. You can read all about it (and be the eleventy billionth person to comment) here. It was a pretty solid proposal story. I’m not really picky when it comes to proposal stories. All I really want is:

1. A creative way of proposing
2. No mention of ‘heart’ and ’skipping a beat’ in the description

Jenn and Bobby succeeded on both fronts. He proposed on the golf course. I was going to comment on the post, but thought better of it. Everyone was saying things like “oh, that’s so romantic” and “that ring is beautiful.” My comment was going to be something like “what courses do you recommend in Chicago? And congrats on qualifying for state your sophomore year of high school.” I decided against it. But seriously - Bender, if you can get me on Medinah you should let me know. Oh, and congrats to you and Bobby.

K-Dizzle at K’s Good Eats had an entertaining week. Her name probably isn’t really K-Dizzle, but I couldn’t get an official name (other than K) so we’re going to go with K-Dizzle until I hear otherwise. Actually, that’s probably going to stick even if I find out what her real name is. Anyway, K-Dizzle made some greek yogurt parfaits in this post that actually looked really good. I don’t think I really like greek yogurt. It’s sort of a game at our house. Kate buys it. I make smartass comments about her buying it, then she somehow finds ways to sneak it into my food and then doesn’t tell me until I eat it. Nothing makes her happier than sneaking things into my food without me knowing it. It’s all fun and games unless she decides to poison me, Law and Order Criminal Intent-style. K-Dizzle is a fan of Law and Order, so she knows what I’m talking about. 

Stock Up

Computer Sales - Well, not yet. But I doubt Kate is going to make it anyone week without a blog reading machine 

Seizure-Inducing Font Colors - Bites and Bowls is one of my favorite blogs, but if Kelsey continues with these font colors, she should include a warning label for pregnant women and the elderly. Sorry Kelsey…Matt made me write that. 

Personification of Food Box Picture People - I’ve seen an uptick of food bloggers referring to the people either named or pictured on food packaging as if they are friends or family. See Arnold and his bread, Annie and her mac & cheese, Bob and his rolled oats, etc.

Half Marathons - Congrats to Rose, her lobsters, her placemats, and all of the other food bloggers who recently completed a half.

Stock Down

Spam Comments on my blog - I still get a few. Mostly from some random ass weight loss company trying to sell some kind of super colon blow weight loss product, but I haven’t been getting as many as usual. What happened to the Viagra spam comments? Do y’all not like me anymore? Number of comments is Kate’s only metric for determining blog popularity (More Comments = More popular blog). I want my wife to think this is a successful blog…so bring it.

Swine Flu Hysteria - I didn’t see anyone wearing masks at the airport this week. And The Today Show went a full segment without talking about it. So maybe we’re done with the flu. Or maybe it was because Tripp Palin and his baby mama were on with Matt Lauer. Or are we done freaking out about this global pandemic now? That was fast. 

Jillian’s Devil Shred - That was so last month

Alright. That’s all for this week. We’ll try to do better next time.

Note: This was originally posted at yourselfinfiveyears.blogspot.com

Hi Everyone. Welcome to the fourth and final edition of the food blog roundup. It’s not the last one ever, just the last one on this blog. The new blog should be ready to go next week. I could’ve had it ready to go this week, but I had to watch The Masters all weekend, then I was sick, then it was my birthday, and then I had to catch up and read all of the blogs. So hopefully I’ll get around to it in time for next week. I’ll keep y’all posted. I think it has been an excited week in blogworld. There have been fires, free Garmins, and most importantly, my birthday. Sadly, my mailbox was blondie-free on my 29th. Alright, enough about that. Here. We. Go.

Mara at What’s for Dinner had a busy week. The week started with a nice post for her fiance’s birthday. Yes, I realize that there is an accent mark at some point in that word, but I don’t feel like digging around for special characters in the blogger editor. Anyway, it was a somewhat sappy but nice ode to fiance. My only criticism is that she used the phrase “my stomach flipped with joy.” Now while this might be accurate, when ‘stomach ‘and ‘flip’ are used together, I just start thinking about the end of Marley and Me (both book and movie). And then I think of the 100+ people openly sobbing around me when we were at the theatre. So I don’t really know how Mara’s fiance love post ends because I started thinking about Marley and got distracted.

Mara also had a blogger playdate with Jenn from Eating Bender. It was an action-packed date, filled with everything that a food blogger meet-up should include: overpriced organic grocery store, uncooked Asian foods, specialty cooking stores, and ice cream. I bet there’s a lot of pressure when two food bloggers meet for the first time. If I was the food blogger responsible for coming up with the agenda, I think I’d probably just schedule a bunch of out of character activities. Well, out of character for healthy food bloggers, at least. I’d use a theme, like ‘buckets.’ My Chicago food blog meet up would probably start in one of the neighborhoods around U.S. Cellular Field. We’d make enough wrong turns that we would end up near a Harold’s Chicken and enjoy a bucket of legs, wings, thighs, and grease. Then we’d head south for a couple buckets of beers at Bourbon Street on 115th, and then downtown for a big Bucket of Garrett’s Carmel and Cheese Popcorn.  It would probably be our last meeting and the pictures wouldn’t make the interweb.   

Speaking of Eating Bender, I was going to devote an entire paragraph to Jen, but then I noticed that she’s doing the P90X workout. If she is able to make it through one session of that, then she can officially kick my ass, so I’m going to watch what I say. For those of you that don’t know what P90X is, apparently you don’t have cable or sleeping issues. It’s a workout program that only advertises on basic cable between 2:00-6:00 AM. I feel sore after watching one of the infomercials. It looks like Level XIV of Jillian’s 30 Day Shred, and the ‘after’ spokespeople look like Brad Pitt in fight club. Good luck with that.

Caitlin Tipping Point (seems easier than writing out Caitlin, at The Healthy Tipping Point) had some excitement this week when her apartment complex caught on fire. My only critique of this is that there was only one post devoted to The Great Fire of 2009. It was comprehensive coverage within that post, but I would’ve dragged it out over a few days. It was sort of like in the last season of The O.C. when Marissa Cooper started hooking up with the chick that’s now playing 13 on House. There was one episode of The O.C. devoted to their torrid love affair, and then by the next episode Marissa was back to dating Ryan Atwood and hating her mother. Or am I the only one who compares food blogs to Teen Drama plot lines? All I’m saying is that you missed an opportunity to turn this into fire prevention week on HTP, with instructional videos for fire extinguisher usage, and more pictures of the dreamy firefighters. Also, I’m not really a black helicopter guy, but I find it quite a coincidence that there was a fire at the apartment during the same week that Caitlin announced her running hiatus. I’m just saying that maybe someone in the running industry might not be happy about this decision and may have had something to do with the fire. Because ‘fire’ is the #2 cause of spontaneous running, just behind ‘someone chasing you.’

Am I the only one that’s a little jealous of all of the free stuff that Kath gets? She got a freaking Garmin? Kath is my friend so I should be happy for her (and I should realize that maybe I can borrow some of her free stuff sometime) but I want to understand the secret to getting free stuff. I mean, this blog is read by literally DOZENS of people every week, but I guess that isn’t enough. So far I’ve got

Step 1: Create Blog

Step 2:

Step 3: Free Stuff

Maybe I should drop some subtle hints…

The check engine light is on in my Toyota Highlander. I just love my Highlander and I hear that the new Hybrid model is fantastic. I sure would like to drive one of those.

Or

My Kenmore washing machine is one of my favorite appliances, but the spin cycle seems to be acting up. I’m just not sure where I could find a replacement.

If I haven’t made this clear yet, let me say one more time: I am willing to sell out this blog (and my new blog) for free stuff.  I’ll take almost anything. Except maybe the WWII era cereal that Kath got this week, with the picture of a kid that looks like a cross between Ralphie’s little brother in A Christmas Story and one of the Children of the Corn kids. I don’t think I could eat breakfast with this kid staring at me.

Alright, back to the blog review now

There was some excitement on Hangry Pants this week. There was finally a ‘he said’ post! For those who do not read Hangry, each post starts with either “He Says” or “She Says” depending on who is the author of the post. Sort of a clever idea for a shared male/female shared blog. Only problem is that there isn’t an even balance between he says and she says. Specifically, we’ve gone entire weeks recently without a single he says post. So going to the blog and looking for a “he says” post is sort of like Where’s Waldo or one of those magic eye posters. You know, those things that you stare at for 30 seconds and then you see a panda that says I love you emerge from the trippy design.. Now I know that Daddy is very busy at work, but we stay up late to wait for him to come home, and then he doesn’t talk to us kids out in blogland. We need more “he says” posts – the last one introduced me to new salad toppings, including Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Honey Wheat Kix.  That is food blog gold, and I want more.

Diana at The Chic Life broke the all time food blog record of excessive use of the word ‘sammy.’ Now there has been some discussion and debate on the correct spelling (is it Sammie or Sammy). My official answer is that it is neither, as the word should not be used. Ever. Problem solved.. Now Diana is a friend and loyal reader. She knows how I feel about the use of the word Sammy. Yet she managed to use Sammy four times in one post. And it’s not like she was describing four different sandwiches – it was just one sandwich. And this isn’t the first time. I did a quick control + F and found no less than 13 instances of Sammy on one page of The Chic Life. And I double checked, and none of them were about Sammy Davis Jr. or Sammy Hagar. Diana, we need to talk about this. We might just turn my birthday party tonight into a Sammy usage intervention for you. All of your blogging friends and family will be here to help you through this.

Oh, and to fill out our list of places that spinach should not be:

3. Pancakes

4. Brownies

Thanks to Heather (from Heat the Salmon Butt) and Jennifer (from Blogger Profile Not Available Error Page) for submitting these winning entries.

Stock Up

Salad Challenge – I was going to participate until I found out that chicken salad, taco salad, and potato salad would not count as my daily salad.

Getting Free Stuff from Companies – Unless you are me.

Soups that look like baby food - bleh

Obscure Nut Butters – I don’t think there are any nuts left that have not been made into a peanut butter substitute. Also, ‘Obscure Nut Butters’ would be an awesome band name

Peep Art and Peep Consumption – Peep Utilization in food blogs was up almost 24% from last year

Stock Down

Cooked Food (or whatever the opposite of ‘raw’ is) – This means that natural gas and electricity are both stock down this week

Cadbury Cream Eggs – I looked at least 50 food blogs on Sunday and didn’t see a single one. I saw lots of Cadbury mini eggs, but not their goo filled big brother.

Pirate Attacks – Although I don’t want to call them Pirates

Alright. That’s all for this week. I’ll put next week’s post here and on the new blog. Let me know if there are any blogs that y’all want me to talk about. I gotta get going. Only a few hours until My SpongeBob Birthday Party/Diana’s Sammy Intervention. Talk to you later.