The BlogStalker

Hi Friends,

Welcome back. Seems like we just talked. Now I’m back on track, so hopefully I can stick to my rigorous 1 post/week schedule. We’ll see how that goes. Hmm…trying to think of interesting things that have happened since my last post. Oh, here’s one…

Kelsey of Bites and Bowls fame is moving to a new place. She’s out of town and needed someone to help move some possessions (couch, bed, etc). This is right in my wheelhouse, as two of my greatest skills are lifting heavy things and reaching tall things, so I was more than happy to help her out. Problem is that her possessions > Size of my SUV. So this meant renting a truck. No big deal…figured I’d get the little truck and it would be fine. Turns out that they don’t rent the little trucks for in-town moves. I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out how that could make any sense at all. Still working on it. Anyway, I got to drive the big 16 foot yellow truck through Uptown Charlotte. During the lunch hour. When most of the roads that I needed to drive on were under construction. Or closed. Or were one way streets with the cars going in the opposite direction. Now I consider myself a pretty good driver. No accidents or speeding tickets in 13 years of driving. But I never did figure out if there’s a way to make a right turn in the big yellow truck without taking out the curb or the people that are standing on it. So I have a new-found respect for real truck drivers, and I’ll probably stop pumping my fist when I pass them (trying to get them to honk) as they have more important things to focus on, and most people grow out of that when they turn 10. Oh, and the moving was totally worth it, as Kelsey had left beer and barney butter for met at her new place. And she gave me some Great Harvest blondies that Matt made. I must say that they were every bit as good as a VeggieGirl blondie. Actually, I can’t say that, because I still haven’t tried these VG Blondies (hint) that everyone else speaks of, but these were good blondies.

In other news, Kate picked up this new shampoo at the store. She wanted me to mention that it was free with a rebate.

Sorry for the poor photo quality. If you can’t read that, it says it includes coconut milk and egg white proteins. It just so happens that I was making brinner last night and was short 1 egg from making the ideal omelette. The thought crossed my mind to supplement my eggs with some of this shampoo. I mean, it says it includes egg whites and milk, which is what I was looking for. I decided that the shampoo might include other ingredients as well, so I did not make a shampoo omelette. I’ll keep you posted if I change my mind at a future brinner.

Hmm…trying to think if anything else exciting happened this week. I think I only left the house by car one other time since the last time I blogged, so I got nothin. Guess I’ll get going with the blog review.

Jenn from Eating Bender is in Maui with Ma Bender and she’s even blogging from vacationland. This shows true dedication to the blog, something that I clearly don’t have. Now I’ve actually been pretty anti-Hawaii when people suggest it as a potential vacation spot. That’s probably an understatement. I react to the Hawaii suggestion the same way that Kate reacts when someone mentions Angelina Jolie. I don’t know what it is, but I have no urge to go to Hawaii. It’s mostly because when I hear my coworkers or friends talk about their trips to Hawaii, it seems like there’s some kind of vacation checklist - like a list of 5-7 touristy things that every mainland tourist does when they go to Hawaii. It usually goes something like “volcano, blah blah blah, luau, blah blah pig and hula dancers and fire, blah blah seven sacred somethings, blah blah oh and the pineapple at the hotel blah blah.” I’m sure there are thousands of fun things to do in Hawaii, but it seems like everyone does the same five things. So my anti-Hawaii feelings are driven by either this tourist checklist theory, or some fear that I’ll end up like one of the Real World Hawaii cast members. Either a trainwreck like Ruthie or a completely unwatchable assbag like Colin/Amaya. But then Bender did her first vacation post and I thought “hmm, Hawaii looks nice” so maybe I’m getting over it. I think it was the pizza. Anyway, thanks for changing my thoughts on this Bender.

Mark Hangry (from Hangry and Hangry, LLC) is giving away a cookbook in this post. I’m not a really big cookbook reader. For me, it’s sort of like the owner’s manual in my car. I can read through it and look at the pictures, but at the end of the day, I’ll probably just outsource the actual work. I read enough to know that I’m not capable of doing what needs to be done. But this looks like an interesting cookbook. Mr. Hangry mentions that there is a toilet paper icon next to recipes that make you go. I think restaurant menus should offer the same thing. Mark Hangry also came up with a creative entry process for joining his contest. None of this add me to your blogroll nonsense for the Hangrys. No, you have to come up with a poem about the blogger to enter. I’m a big fan of creative contest requirements like this. Links and tweets are not the only currency that we can use for contests, blogland. So please take Mr. Hangry’s lead and come up with creative rules and regs for your free shiz giveaways.

Everyone’s favorite Homegirl had a nice post about babysitting. It was one of those posts that makes you want to be a little kid again. I want to sit in a wagon and eat ice cream while someone pulls me to the park. Although that would be pretty strange at my current age and size.  She mentioned that one of the kids was going to Circus Camp, which sent me into flashback mode. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here or not, but I spent the majority of my childhood as a circus performer. You can get all of the details of my circus life in this post. I have hung up my sequins and spandex (to the delight of anyone who has their sight), but I will occasionally still juggle. Like after a few drinks at Universal Studios CityWalk when I want to show up a clown with my skills. I never miss an opportunity to show up a clown. That’s not slang…I mean a guy wearing face paint and making animal balloons. I hate clowns.

Rose from On a Lobster Placemat (my favorite blog name ever) did something interesting at the end of this post. She asked for male readers to de-lurk and introduce themselves. I proudly followed her orders and identified myself. I think men are an underrepresented group in food blog land. My working theory is that readership skews about 90/10 female. I have absolutely nothing to base this on. The only guys that comment on my blog are related to me, friends of mine, or other bloggers that I write about. So I’ll steal Rose’s idea. Male blogstalker readers, please identify yourself. Female readers, do the same thing. This way I’ll end up with lots of comments, and it’ll make this blog look popular.

In other news, I have grown increasingly jealous of Jenna from Eat, Live, Run for landing an interview for the coolest job in the world. You can read about it in this post. From what I gather, a winery in Napa is interviewing Jenna and some other people (who I’m also jealous of) for a job where they use their social media influence to promote the winery. It involves hanging out in Napa and getting paid good money to blog/tweet/post about wine. Um, yes please. At first I thought this would be the perfect job for me. I mean, I like drinking wine, I love Napa, and I sort of work in social/interactive/online stuff with my real job. Then I thought about it, and figured that it would lead to increased drogging, and that all of my tweets would probably just be quotes from Sideways - quotes that out of context could be viewed as vulgar and offensive. So I’d probably get fired. Best of luck to Jenna in landing the job, as it would be an awesome opportunity and may lead to some wine giveaways on ELR. I usually don’t enter contests, but if wine is involved, I’ll make an exception.

Stock Up

Protein Powder - Blogland is bulking up with muscles like Major League Baseball in the 1990s. This could lead to a new foodbuzz steroid policy. Let’s hope that Barney Butter doesn’t end up on the banned substances list.

Spinoff Blogs - Like Operation Beautiful and Green Monster Movement - which seem to be successful spinoffs (like Frasier). I’m having trouble keeping up one blog, so don’t expect a blogstalker spinoff anytime soon.

Blogger Meet-ups - Well, not really a trend, but we’re going to dinner with KERF, Pinky, and the C&C Blogging Factory tonight, so that counts, right?

Biking - I think it has something to do with the Tour de France.

Apple(s) - Both the technological and edible kinds. Most bloggers are getting their recommended apple a day. And those who aren’t eating their apples are playing with their iPhones or trying to win a MacBook Pro.

Stock Down

Television viewing options - I’m done with Summer re-runs. I need my housewives to return. And Jon and Kate. And 30 Rock. I could go on, but you get the idea.

The Today Show - I love my Matt and Meredith time (and Hoda and Kathie Lee) but this has been a bad week. Al is on vacation, and I don’t think Willard even did his smuckers birthday list this week.

Juicing - Our juicer is collecting dust, and Fitnessestenista had a near juicing disaster. I expect juicing to make a strong comeback in the upcoming weeks.

The Sun - I haven’t seen it yet this week. Maybe because it has been really cloudy. Or maybe because I haven’t left the house much.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. See you next Friday, and we’ll try to do better next time.

Hi Friends. Thanks for stopping by. How was your week? Good…glad to hear it. Pretty good week here. To follow up on last week’s recap, I survived my meeting with the doctor on Wednesday. No horrible illnesses or diseases, so that’s cool. The doctor did say that he’d like to see me lose a little weight. To which I replied “yeah, me too.” I’m glad that I’m on the same page as my medical professional. See you next year, doctor. Enjoy the $25 copay.

I’m sorry to report that I won’t be posting next week. Actually, I’m not sorry at all. Kate and I are heading to Cabo for the next 10 days or so. I’ll have limited access to phone, email, and sobriety. Hmm, maybe I should put that as my out of office message. Nah…probably not. Might not have a job to come back to if I did that. Anyway, I doubt I’ll be spending a whole lot of time reading blogs in the next week or so. I’ll be back with my weekly recap on the 26th, as long as I don’t end up with Swine Flu or something.

Alright. One sort of funny story and then we’ll get to the blog review. Kate spent the last couple of evenings googling Gilbert’s dog breed (in between looking at all of your blogs, of course). Searches included: Shar Pei Rat Terrier, Rat Pei, and Shar Terrier. Then she’d find pictures of similar looking dogs, and would show them to Gilbert. Usually saying things like “Gilbert, come look at your sister.” Then she mentioned that she wanted to find Gilbert’s family so we could have a reunion. So totally joking, I recommended that she check out ancestry.com to find Gil’s relatives and then I went back to watching bad television. About ten minutes later, Kate says “I don’t think this is going to work…it’s just stuff about people and their ancestors.” Apparently she thought I was serious and had looked for Gilbert’s ancestors online. That was probably the highlight of my week. Okay, now time for the blog review.

Kelsey from Bites and Bowls has taken the top spot away from Hangry Pants, which means I got some free shiz. Kind of, but not really. Kelsey jacked one of my Smart Ones on Saturday night/Sunday morning, which you can read about in this post. To repay me, she brought over a box of Twilight-Inspired Conversation Hearts. They came in a box with the dreamy Edward Cullen on the package, and the hearts said things like “Bite Me” and “Live Forever.” They were delicious, even though it’s four months after their originally scheduled consumption date. So thanks B+B for the free shiz. In that post by Kelsey, you’ll notice that she and I sang karaoke backup to Matt last weekend on Nuthin’ But a G Thang. I volunteered to sing the Dre parts, which I thought meant I’d just say ‘hell yeah’ in a low voice over and over again. Turns out that Dre actually has a verse. Oh, and I also found out that if there’s a ‘radio friendly’ (or wal-mart friendly) version of a song, then that’s probably the version that the karaoke guy will have. I was singing the album version. So I’d like to apologize to the patrons of the Yellow Rose for my bad language, but I think I was singing the song in the way that Dre and Snoop wanted it to be sung. Except for the whole drunk white guy in a dive bar in suburban Charlotte North Carolina part. Hell yeah.

Emily at Super Caloric Chalk Dust tagged me in this post, which appears to be some kind of chain letter/post. I heart Super Caloric, but I’m not really a chain letter responder kind of guy, so I’m just going to talk about Emily and her blog and we’ll say that I’ve fulfilled my chain letter duties, okay? That way, if this is really some kind of scam, then I won’t be considered an accomplice. As far as I can tell, the only difference between a chain letter and a pyramid scheme is that nobody gets rich with a chain letter. People just end up giving personal details (like their lack of at home pants wearing) instead of ending up with mad loot.  And for this chain blog thing to take off, they should probably include some threat of dismemberment or disfigurement. Those both seem like good motivators for old school chain letters. Like send a pair of flip flops to 10 of your best friends or else you’ll get the hiv or something.  So I’m going to make my own rules instead. By being tagged, it means I should stop eating peaches, and should go on vacation and sit on the beach for a couple of weeks. Okay…sold.

Tina at Carrots ‘n’ Cake made some dong-shaped cupcakes in this post. At first I thought this was really out of character for the C ‘n’ C blogging factory. I mean she usually does nice things like pictures of parks in Boston and funny stories about Mal, and out of nowhere come these iced dongs. But then I read the post, and it turns out that it was part of a bachelorette weekend party thing. This makes sense. Bachelorette parties are one of only three scenarios where graphic depictions of man junk are socially acceptable. The others are junior high (sex ed class) and episodes of Oprah when Dr. Oz is the guest. That damn Dr. Oz is always talking about man bits. Speaking of  sex ed…did I ever tell y’all that my dad was my sex ed teacher in Jr. High? I can’t remember if that was on this blog or another blog. Anyway, this is reason #1 why I haven’t been embarrassed since 7th grade. Nothing tops that. Nothing.

Speaking of wangs, Snackface made a pretty fantastic reference to Trey MacDougal’s flaccidity in this post. I know, this post is more than a week old, but it was probably the funniest thing that I read this week, and it’s my blog, so I’m making an exception and including it in the weekly roundup. Mostly because I’m planning on stealing this line and calling anything limp ‘Trey-Like’ from now on. We’ll see if it sticks. Cut to my favorite scene from Mean Girls when Regina George says ’stop trying to make fetch happen.’ Say what you want about LiLo, but Mean Girls is one of the best movies in the history of the world. Ever. And shame on me for just now writing about Snackface…there’s no excuse for that. I mean, she has SATC references in her posts, she attends Matt Lauer’s alma mater, and she hangs out with homegirl. How did it take me 12 installments to write about her? I say again, shame on me.

Stock Up

Amazing Wheat Grass - Really? We’re drinking grass now? I’ll take healthy eating stereotypes for $200, Alex. This is like a bad commercial for a casual dining establishment. Like the family goes to the health food restaurant and everyone is drinking grass, then the dad makes a stupid face so the family goes to Flingers for some jalapeno poppers or something instead. Ugh.

Blogapalooza References - This is pretty much the social event of the summer. I’m looking forward to this almost as much as the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Healthy Twilight Pancake had a nice post about it where she asked readers which bloggers they wanted to meet. I almost signed in under random names to stuff the ballot in my favor.

Free Shiz - Not for me, but there are some contests worth mentioning. The Professional Vegan is giving away some books…Fast Food Nation and Food Inc. I didn’t know they wrote books about those movies, but you can find out the details here. In other free shiz news, Kori at All things B is giving away some of that Amazing Grass in this post. In other news, I’m going to mow my lawn on Saturday before we leave town, so I’ll be having a grass giveaway as well if you want to come over and pick up the clippings. It’ll save me some raking.

Summer haircuts - I’d like to think that this is because I got my fro cut off last week, but I doubt I’m really a trendsetter here. Post-Graduate Meghannnn and birthday girl Jenna were among the multiple bloggers who got ‘em all cut this week. Am I really talking about the hair cutting schedules of people I’ve never met before. What the hell is wrong with me? But if I meet them all at blogapalooza, it won’t be quite as creepy, right?

Stock Down

Mean Anonymous Comments - Actually there have been way too many of them recently, but I give them a big thumbs down. If you want to be a wanker and get into a comment pissing match, go to a political or news blog or something. Anonymous mean comments on food/health blogs are just dumb. Props to Fitnestestinesstia and her pilot on the way they handled this one. Critical comments are okay. Just leave your name so we can engage in a healthy dialogue. Or so I can leave a flaming bag of poo on your doorstep.

Gluten - I really don’t know what gluten is, but people seem to be avoiding it. I could google it and find out what it is, but  I’m a firm believer that for everything I learn, I forget another thing, and I don’t want to forget anything,  And please don’t try to educate me via comments, or else I’ll forget my 2nd grade teacher’s name.

Soy - People seem to be anti-soy this week as well. I’m alright with that, as long as it just means I should avoid faux meat (like Soy Burgers and Soy Sausage). Consider it done. But don’t make me give up my soy sauce and edamame. Can we make an exception there?

Foods that end in consonants - I’m not sure why, but there have been lots of posts about foods that end with vowels. A prime example of this is Rose’s Frittata and Scone post. That’s a double word score. Keep in mind that Pat and Vanna are going to charge you $250 apiece for those.

Alright friends. That’s all I’ve got. See you in a couple of weeks. We’ll try to do better next time.

Hi Friends. I hope you all had a nice week. It has been a busy week here. Well, not really, but I’ve done some things that I’ve been putting off for awhile. 

1. Kate and I went and met the new neighbors down the street. They moved in about a month ago, and we wanted to go introduce ourselves for quite some time, as they looked young and childless. That said, we didn’t want to look like the creepy neighbors who are trying too hard to be friends. I’m convinced that it’s impossible to go introduce yourself to new neighbors without looking/acting like a complete jackass. Kate made brownies. I bought beer. I guess we didn’t even need to stick around to say hello…the brownies and beer probably would’ve told them what we’re all about. Anyway,they seem nice. We probably seem crazy. Check that one off the list.

2. I got a haircut. Things were getting pretty out of control. I think this might have been my first haircut since the inauguration, and that was like four months ago. You know you’re looking pretty good when the lady at the haircut place says “I’m guessing you don’t work in an office with other people, do you.” I’m not exactly sure what gave away my work from home lifestyle. I’m guessing it was either the lack of pockets, my 3:00 PM on a weekday walk-in, my urban Amish facial hair, or the Bob Ross style afro. Either way, I’m now about five pounds lighter.

3. I went to the doctor. I’m not sick or anything, but I haven’t been to the doctor for a check-up since the late 1990s. I wish I was exaggerating, but my last physical was in 1998. So this week I went in for the blood work, and then next week is my actual appointment. I’m going to feel like a pretty big chach if el doctor finds something that would’ve been way better to find like five years ago or something. So I’m going to make a deal right here. With blog as my witness, I promise I’ll go to the doctor every year or so, as long as I don’t get stuck with some horrible illness or disease at next week’s appointment. Deal? Cool.

Alright. That’s what I’ve been doing. I also watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I have been looking for a copy of Danielle’s book (Cop Without a Badge) but it’s going for $189 on Amazon. I love my housewives, but not that much.  No new inventions this week, so I’ll just get going to the blog review. 

HangryPants remains in the #1 slot this week, which means I didn’t get any free shiz this week. Anyway, Ms. Hangry is currently getting ready for her “Cleaner Life Month’ which she describes in this post. From what I understand, it has something to do with eating healthy stuff. These month long challenges are great. They seem to fly by, and then the challenge blogger talks about their progress, and I just sit back and think “what the hell did I do in the last 30 days” and it’s usually pretty depressing. I don’t think I’ll be participating, but I’ll be cheering from the sidelines (diet mountain dew in hand).  I’m going to start my own challenge. I’m not going to eat any peaches for the next month. Who’s with me? No real reason, other than the fact that I don’t like eating peaches, but there ya go. Follow me to a peach free June. In other news, Kate told me about some health food guy who said something about how you shouldn’t eat foods that weren’t around 50 years ago. I guess that sort of makes sense for things like gogurt (whatever the hell that is) and other overprocessed stuff. But I doubt the greatest generation sat around drinking vanilla almond milk either, so I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do. Alright, I’m rambling now. Next blog…  

Brooke at Homegirl Can Eat wrote a great post about a perverted teacher in this post. If you aren’t reading this blog yet, you really, really should. It’s probably one of the best written blogs out there, even though I don’t understand half the shit that homegirl is talking about (mostly because I’m old). Whenever I go to the mall and start hating ‘those damn teens’ I just think of Homegirl and her good writing, and it makes me not hate the kids as much as I did before. I do often wonder if homegirl’s principal or teachers are aware of the blog and how they feel about it, but I’m sure she has that under control.I’ve noticed that homegirl commentors like to comment using homegirl-speak. That is, they adjust their language and slang to match that of the blog they are reading. I always want to comment on her posts, but I refrain for two reasons:

1. Kate is convinced I’d come off as a creepy old man
2. I’d write something like “Great post, I love how you did XYZ” which would really stand out amongst the comments like “Yay for graduation again! You and mama cynth look gorgey-poo! ” and other comments in Homegirl-speak. So I just lurk instead.

Fortunately the same thing hasn’t caught on here on The Blogstalker, otherwise y’all would comment using my backcountry gibberish and we’d all be a little dumber. So the moral of the story is, read Homegirl’s blog. 

Alli of Green Dog Wine had a busy week. Her blog found a new home (the URL that I used), got a new logo, and it was also her husband’s birthday and she devoted this post to her husband. As I mentioned last week, I’m a big fan of photo trips down memory lane in blogland. Sure, pictures of food are great, but I would much rather look at pictures of people doing funny things. Think of it this way, I wouldn’t go watch a movie about a bowl of oatmeal, but there’s a good chance that I’d go see a romantic comedy involving a man with a mohawk singing karaoke or lifting his wife over her head. So I vote for more personal pictures in blogland. Except on my blog. Because I’m lazy and our camera is pretty lame. But everyone else…please include more pictures. And if they can be photo slide shows with sappy music, that would win you bonus points. Now get to work! Also, I’ve been reading this blog for quite some time and didn’t really know where the name came from. I had some good theories going on in my head, but never thought to look at the ‘about me’ page, which pretty much explains it. I liked my theories better. 

Postgraduate Meghannnn did a recap of the San Diego Marathon in this post. Congrats to Meghannnn and everyone else who completed some sort of distance race this weekend. We were also happy to see that the easter bunny made the trip to San Diego. What really blows my mind is that people are videotaping and twittering while running a damn marathon. I’ve run my share of marathons, but have never videotaped or used any other type of technology during the process. After mile 13, I don’t think that I’d have a single thing to say that would be family friendly - I guess you could call it exercise-induced Tourettes. Also, I think I sweat too much to carry something electronic while running. I’ll just stick to the pictures that the race people take to document how miserable I was feeling during the race. Or I can just think really hard and remember it. 

Stock Up

Graduation - I’m happy for all of the graduating bloggers, I just hope that they keep blogging. See previous post re: not a big fan of change in my blogs.

House/Apartment/Room Tours - There was basically a full episode of Cribs this week. Unfortunately, none of the video tours included classic Cribs cliches like “this is where the magic happens.” I think at least one blogger should have used that line when showing off their kitchen or something.

Detailed Exercise Recaps - Including, but not limited to: calories burned, distance traveled (down to the hundredth or a mile), music listened to, energy foods and drinks consumed, etc. I think you’re burning off calories just doing the exercise recap.

Puffins (the cereal, not the bird) - Always a fan favorite among bloggers, but really growing in popularity in recent weeks. I just can’t eat this stuff. I once saw Puffin on a menu in Iceland, and it wasn’t the cereal. So now I can’t eat the cereal without thinking about people eating the cute little bird, so there’s my excuse. 

Stock Down

Flip Phones - The entire blog world seemed to get on iPhone or Blackberry bandwagon in the last week or two. Still waiting for someone to bring back the Zach Morris brick phone as a retro smart phone

Bagels - Not sure if this is because of the high caloric content, or the fact that it’s national donut day. Mentions to donut day should probably be stock up.

Alltel’s Commercials - Chad (the Alltel guy) is kinda hot and nice enough, but those other jackasses are really pissing me off. Sorry for the bad language, but I’m passionate about this one. Their last two commercials have butchered some pretty funny bits by Chris Farley and Willy Wonka. Sorry…this has nothing to do with blogs or bloggers, but I really really dislike these commercials, especially the Sprint guy.

Drogging - Drogging (drunk blogging) references are still stock up (thanks to Caitlin Pancake), but actual drunk blogging hasn’t been happening as much (as far as I can tell). I would like this to be stock up this weekend - especially for the Charlotte bloggers who are going to dive bar karaoke with me tomorrow night. You know who you are. 

That’s all for this week. Thanks for reading, and I’ll try to do better next time.

Hi Friends. Everything is right in the world again. We have replaced Kate’s blog reading machine. It was a difficult process. Kate had very high standards when making this purchase:

1. Laptop must be small/cute - but not tiny
2. Laptop must be light - who knew that there was such a large difference between a laptop that weighs 4.6 pounds as opposed to 4.7 pounds? Kate did, that’s who.
3. Laptop must have good battery life - there is no shortage of electrical outlets in our house, but Kate is not a big fan of plugging in her power cord - it takes away from valuable blog reading time.

The Geek Squad guy was waxing poetic about some computer - talking about how it would meet all of our HD Video needs. I tried to tell him that the only video work that we’ll be doing on the computer is watching VeggieGirl TV, but I don’t think he knew what  I was talking about. So here’s what we went with:

So far Kate’s pretty happy with it. Kate’s only regret is that she doesn’t have a hard copy of her 100 or so food blog bookmarks that she had on blogreading machine 1.0. In fact, she actually had to ask me for the link to my other blog. I was a little upset about her not having that one memorized, but at least she wanted to read it, right? Alright…enough about the computer. Let’s get going with the blog review.

Post-Graduate Meghann is in San Antonio for work. You can read about her adventures in this post. It was a nice post, and she should receive some sort of compensation from the San Antonio Convention and Visitors Bureau. There was one line in the post that I have to take issue with:

“A bowl of fresh fruit starring me in the face is my true weakness.”

What? Fresh fruit? Fresh Fruit cannot be a weakness. Chocolate can be a weakness. Kryptonite can be a weakness. Black Tar Heroin can be a weakness. According to Barry White and MC Hammer, Your (Yo) Sweetness, can also be my weakness. Fresh fruit is just stuff that you’re supposed to eat.

Post-Graduate Meghann also did an extensive post on sports bras. I thought about writing about it, but figured that there’s really no way for a guy to comment on that post without sounding like a giant perv, so I won’t. But if you are in the market for a sports bra, and want to shop by brand, fabric, size, color, or store, then this is probably a helpful post. Doh, I said I wasn’t going to write about this one and now look at me. Okay, I’ll stop now.

Hangry Pants and Mr. Hangy Pants took a break from developing obscure nut butters and went shopping at the Super Caloric Magical Store in this post. I have mentioned in previous posts that Emily from Super Caloric Chalk Dust somehow finds every random ass test product ever developed. This happens so frequently that it has now become a commonly used term in our household. If we find random ass products at the grocery store, we call it super caloric. Unfortunately, we don’t have magical bodegas down here with rare (and potentially not FDA approved) products. Charlotte’s idea of a new product is a commemorative 18 pack of Miller Lite with pictures of NASCAR tracks on the cans. I don’t think that counts. Anyway, the Hangrys found Throwback Mountain Dew, which absolutely qualifies as super caloric (in a couple of ways). I believe I have mentioned that I am a strong supporter of Diet Mountain Dew. I have continued my support, even though Kate now refuses to buy it for me (and calls it Garbage Water), and I’m not even into jumping out of airplanes on a snowboard or base jumping. Based on their commercials, this must be the target market for their product. So yeah, I’m pretty jealous of the Hangrys for this find. Hopefully it’ll make it down to Charlotte in a few more months, although it’ll likely have a NASCAR track on the label or be in the shape of a tire or something like that.

Kelsey at Bites and Bowls made an exciting announcement this week. She selected a new yoga studio in this post. I assume that having a blogger choose and blog about a yoga studio is sort of like having a celebrity endorsement for a political candidate. Kelsey clearly made an informed decision, laying out the pros and cons of each of the candidates. You know…all of the important stuff like cleanliness of the studio, as well as the music that the studio plays. Now I think Kelsey should’ve gone with the studio that was playing Hootie and Britney, but I’m not really a yoga expert. My one formal yoga experience was very similar to my one Zumba experience. I think I’m the first person to ever get yelled at during a yoga session. I do sometimes lay in bed for a few minutes before waking up. I guess I could just come up with names for each of my still-kind-of-asleep positions and then I could call it yoga. Then I wouldn’t feel like such a lazy ass when I wake up at 7:59 and walk downstairs for work. No honey, I wasn’t sleeping, I was perfecting my “Tired man lower case t” pose in the yoga studio (bed) upstairs. I love it. Kelsey also wrote a nice post that involved volume drinking (always a fan favorite) but the font size and color changes got to me before I could finish reading it, and I moved to another blog before the chest pains got too bad. 

The latest blog that I’ve been stalking is Homegirl Can Eat. That’s just fun to say/write. Now I’ve been fairly critical of some of the abbreviations that have been showing up in blogland recently (see previous thoughts on sammie, brekkie, and grapie). Homegirl has taken a new approach. Instead of falling into the baby talk trap that has caught so many good bloggers, she has basically developed her own language. I’m actually a fan of this approach. It sort of reads like some kind of twin talk or Jodie Foster’s dialogue in Nell. Fortunately for me and the rest of Homegirl’s readers over the age of 21, she has developed this dictionary to explain what the hell she is talking about. Unfortunately it took me a few visits to this blog before I found the dictionary, which made my first few trips feel like a day of Telemundo watching…very enjoyable for sure, but I clearly felt like an outsider. If only MTV would offer a dictionary, then I could get back to watching The Real World without feeling like such an old man.

Stock Up

Mexican Food - I thought it was just a Cinco de Mayo thing, but we’re going on two weeks now

Descriptive Yoga Posts - Yoga is already in the stock up hall of fame, but now I’ve seen quite a few descriptive posts where people talk about different poses and I just sort of lose interest mid sentence. It’s kind of like when people start describing their dreams. If it doesn’t involve me, then I lose interest very quickly. 

Grey’s Anatomy - Not the show so much, but posts about the show. If you are looking to fill the McDreamy-sized hole in your TV viewing, I recommend The Real Housewives of New Jersey. The shows have nothing in common, but I want more people to watch the housewives so I can discuss them in this blog.

Questions or Quotes at the end of posts - Now I’m a fan of these, but keep in mind that doing this increases your comment volume, which will make some people (Kate) think your blog is super popular. I guess that’s probably a good thing.

Strikethrough Correction - Often used in context of: what I really want to say more eloquent or politically correct way to say what I really mean to say. This technique is reaching Twilight levels of popularity in blogland.

Stock Down

Red Wine - I’m trying to keep it from disappearing entirely for the summer, but I’m just one man.

Trader Joe’s Sushi - Not because it isn’t on blogs anymore, but because I didn’t realize until I got home that they think Jalapenos belong in a tuna roll. This was very upsetting. I know it isn’t really in the spirit of this blog to talk about my own food experiences, but I consider this one a public service announcement for anyone who doesn’t want to find a jalapeno in their sushi. Which should be everyone in the world.

Sliced Bread - Everything in blogland is now in wrap form. There are also paninis and bagels, but no regular old slices of bread. Do we need to change that expression about it being “the greatest thing” now?

Alright. That’s all I’ve got. We’ll try to do better next time.