The BlogStalker

Hi Friends,

Sorry that I’ve been slacking lately. I don’t really remember why I didn’t blog last Friday. I’m sure I had an excellent excuse at some point, but I can’t think of it right now. I feel like I’ve already paid the price for taking the week off, as I was assaulted on Twitter yesterday by my blogger friends. So sorry about that. I should be able to stick with my one post/week schedule in the future. I’m going to be traveling for work for the next month or so, and that will give me plenty of blogging time. There’s only so much hotel HBO that I can watch in the downtime. Who knows, I might even have time to update my other blog at some point.

So Kate and I went to see Food Inc. a couple of weeks ago. In other news, I haven’t eaten meat in the past 2 weeks. I won’t go so far as to say that I’m a vegetarian now. Especially since I don’t really eat vegetables. I’m sure I’ll go back to eating good meat at some point, but will make informed decisions when I do. It wasn’t really a conscious thing to not eat meat…for the past two weeks, every time I’ve seen meat I’ve sort of thrown up in my mouth a little bit. It  reminds me of undergrad when you’d have a rough Friday/Saturday night that ends with a  conversation with a toilet and a spinning bedroom ceiling.  And then wake up the next morning and see the almost empty bottle on the coffee table and the thought of drinking again makes your stomach hurt. So that’s me and meat right now. Not eating meat has led to some interesting meal decisions, especially since I don’t really like vegetables. Lots of brinner. I think I became the first person in company history to expense a dinner at Waffle House. I’m classy like that.

A little more on Food Inc. It has moved into my list of “Top 5 Really Good Movies that I didn’t enjoy watching at all” which is sometimes referred to as the Schindler’s List List. Not really the feel good buddy pic of the Summer, but worth seeing fo sho. I like lists like this. There’s also the “Songs that should not be played at a strip club” list (I think Tears in Heaven is at the top of that one). There’s also the list of bands/musicians whose music I really like and whose fans I really hate. Oh, and Kate came up with an awesome new list game - scan the gate area before boarding a plane and rank the people that you don’t want to sit next to on the upcoming flight.  Although I have an uncanny ability of ending up next to the person who I ranked in the #1 spot. Eating fried chicken in the middle seat is not okay.

Alright. Just about time for the blog review. No free shiz this week, so the #1 spot is up for grabs. I received some constructive criticism last time I blogged. Leah noted that I talk about the same 5-10 blogs all the time and suggested that I talk about at least one new blog every post. I think that’s a good idea. So I’ll write about Leah’s blog in the #1 spot and then talk about everyone who gave me shit on Twitter yesterday for not blogging. And I’ll try to pick one newbie every week. Thank you Leah…here’s your request, and dedication.

Leah from Leftovers for Lunch made some oatmeal in this post. Fun thing about this blog…if you look at it in Google Chrome or Firefox, the pictures are huge, stretchy, and sort of trippy. It kind of looks like the Black Hole Sun video. There’s my token 90s reference for this post. It looks like Leah had all of the requisite Oatmeal toppings at her disposal. I flew home last night and didn’t remember that I was out of my essential oatmeal toppings (butterscotch chips and heath toffee bits o’ crackle). Between my lack of oatmeal toppings, Hoda being on vacation, and Suze Orman yelling at me on The Today Show, it has been a rough morning. Hopefully it’ll be a good episode of Days of Our Lives today to turn my day around. Only time will tell.

Caitlin Pancake was the first person to yell at me on Twitter last night, so she gets the second spot on this week’s round-up. Caitlin mentioned in this post that she’s working on the final draft of a book proposal and sending it to her agent. I swear…all of these bloggers make me feel like a complete slacker. Book deal? Agent? I can’t even get a post up on a weekly basis. Not to mention my other blog, which I have completely neglected. I guess I could just print out one of my posts and take it to Kinko’s for them to put one of those little spiral spines on it. My posts are long enough that one could be considered a book. But then I’d need to find an agent. Maybe Gilbert is available. Speaking of Gilbert….HTP ended her post by claiming that Maggie is the cutest dog in the world. Maggie is a good looking bitch, but I’m partial to Gilbert, and his future wife, Penny. Please chime in on who you think is the cutest dog. Even if you don’t vote for Gilbert, at least I’ll end up with a bunch of comments and feel popular.

Lobster Rose was the second person to send out a Twitter amber alert yesterday about my whereabouts, so she gets the next spot. Rose played with her food in this post and this post. She is quite the food artist. Not only does her oatmeal cat really look like a cat, but it also relates to the rest of the post (how she found a stray cat, etc). I like to play with my food, but never get more creative then the classic raisin smily face. Usually by the time I make it to the freezer to get my red box of lunch, I’m ready to eat. I often make my smart ones decision based on the estimated cooking time. If the three cheese baked ziti takes four minutes, I’ll likely choose the cheese pizza that only takes three and a half minutes. It’s also super annoying when the meals require removal of the plastic film, then stirring, then more cooking. It’s not like I’m Ina Garten or something…I don’t have time for this additional stirring and plastic film replacement. But Rose does some incredible work with her food art.

The Daily Balance was the next twitterer to ask about my whereabouts, so she gets the next spot. Hmm, looks like it’s one of those blogs where the blogger doesn’t reveal her first name. So I guess I’ll have to make one up. Hmm, let’s go with Six. No real reason, except that she was my favorite character on Blossom. So Six at The Daily Balance does a fashion recap on Fridays where people send in pictures of what they are wearing. I think I should submit a picture of what I’m wearing. Today we’ve got:

Navy Blue T-Shirt: Purchased at 2004 Memphis in May BBQ Festival
Blue Mesh Shorts: Purchased at Nike Outlet Store in 2002
Flip Flops - Purchased in 2006. Haven’t been able to find any size 15s since.
Handbag: Plastic bag from Harris Teeter - used for cleaning up after Gilbert on his daily walk.

I’m sort of a fashion icon. And the songbird of my generation.

Whit at Whit’s Getting Fit also thought that the blogstalker was dead, so she gets the next spot. I think she could send this tomato to the coney island freak show. I think it’s a tomato. It sort of looks like a tomato that is preggers with a chili pepper baby on board. I’m starting to think that there’s something in the water here in Charlotte. The lead story on our local news was about a five-legged puppy. There is currently a custody battle going on between an animal lover and the coney island freak show guy. I think I’ll use our water filter from now on, just to be safe. And yes, this is really the top story on the Charlotte news. A couple of weeks ago they led with the shocking investigative report that showed that a pawn shop owner was selling stolen merchandise. No shit? That’s news? Haven’t these people ever watched Law and Order before? The dead person’s stolen stuff always ends up at a pawn shop.

Last to ask about my whereabouts was AliJag at Green Dog Wine. Don’t make the mistake that I made. Green Dog Wine is not the name of a winery, so you’re wasting your time if you scan the aisles at Trader Joes looking for a bottle of the  Green Dog Wine 2005 Pinot. It doesn’t exist. She just likes green things, dogs, and wine. Ali had some of the funniest blog pictures in this post. Nobody has ever put a baby on my desk. If they did, I think I would spend my time trying to train him to say the things that the baby says on the E*Trade commercials. Hmm, maybe that’s why nobody asks me to babysit. I usually don’t like commercials or shows with talking babies or dogs, but this one is an exception.

Stock Up

Stray Cats - The annoying animals, not the rockabilly band fronted by Brian Setzer.

Blueberries - They are so hot right now. They have taken over the #1 fruit spot from cherries.

Dark Chocolate - Yes please.

BlogHer Attendance - I didn’t get an invite this year. Boo on that. Maybe there will be a BlogHim sometime. A boy can dream.

Sliced Bread - Take that, sandwich thins, pita pockets, and tortillas. Don’t call it a comeback.

Stock Down

Lunchables - Do they still make these? I doubt they ever expire, so they have to have some somewhere.

End of Summer - I’m not quite ready for it yet, so please refrain from saying things like “I can’t believe Summer is almost over” and I’ll just act like it’s not happening.

Martha Stewart - It’s been re-runs for like 6 weeks. Can we get some new episodes, please?

Alright. That’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll try to do better next week.