The BlogStalker

Hi Friends. Thanks for coming back, and I’m sorry that I’m a couple of days late with this post. I really have no excuse. I mean, I didn’t even have to work on Friday. Poor form on my part. I’ll try not to let it happen again. I’ll start with giving an update on what I’ve been up to this weekend, and then we’ll get to the blog review. Sound good?

So instead of blogging on Friday, Kate and I spent the day shopping for granite counter tops. Most of you know that Kate and I have been working very hard (with lots of help from my Dad and Home Depot) on updating our 1980s house. We have already performed a brass exorcism, removed the popcorn ceilings, and Kate has painted most of the house.

So operation get-our-house-out-of-1984 is now focused on new counter tops. For those of you who haven’t been shopping for granite, it’s sort of an experience. For me, it was particularly entertaining, since I’m pretty much color blind and don’t really spend a whole lot of time in the kitchen. So I spent most of my time adding insightful commentary, like:

“That looks really heavy. I don’t think I could lift that up by myself” - said when looking at the large slab of granite

“That one looks like the lobby at the Fairmont in San Francisco” - said while looking at some over the top white granite

“My house will be full of granite, marble and onyx” - Said while doing my best impression of Teresa from Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Instead of blogging on Saturday, I noticed that I was starting to get a lot of spam comments on the blog and I wanted to address that. So I dug into WordPress, and noticed that I could create a blacklist of words for comments - basically a list of naughty words that, when used in a comment, would lead to a comment getting automatically deleted. Creating this list was a fun exercise. I started out just using all of the words that show up in most of the spam comments (viagra, cialis, etc), but then started getting into all of the naughty words that I could think of. I think there are five languages represented in my comment naughty word blacklist. It’s like a potty mouth United Nations. So that took up most of my Saturday - happy birthday America!

As for Sunday…it’s with a heavy heart that I announce the passing of a family treasure. Lawnmower (2004-2009) passed away today in the backyard. I’d like to say that he passed away quietly in his sleep, but instead it was super noisy and embarrassing. Lawnmower and I shared so many great moments. There was my summer-long duel with crazy Indiana neighbor who wanted to have a better lawn than me. Crazy neighbor might have had me beat with his mad edging skillz and Cracker Barrel quality rocking chairs, but he couldn’t compete with the quality work that lawnmower did for me. And then there was the time that I thought I could fill up a camelback with beer for an afternoon of lawn mowing (not as brilliant of an idea as it sounds). Your beer will taste like gatorade, and your gatorade will taste like beer. Hmm, maybe if I had two camelbacks. Anyway…Lawnmower made the trip with us from Indiana, and lived exactly one year at our new house. He joins Weed Wacker (2004-2007) Red Truck (1998 - 2005) and Kate’s Laptop (2006-2007) in joint asset heaven. He is survived by gas can (2004-) and weed wacker #2 (2009-). In lieu of flowers, please send unleaded gasoline or spark plugs. A private ceremony for friends and family will be held at Lawnmower’s final resting place - the crawlspace under the deck. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Alright - time for the blog review now.

Anna at Blue Plate Special gets the top spot, because she sent us some free shiz. She sent us some delicious supercharge me cookies. Because of their name, I treated them like little vitamins. Unfortunately, they did not lead to me going out and running a marathon, but eating one of them did give me the energy to eat another one. So thanks again, Anna.

Anna made the world’s largest salad in this post. Either that, or this is the world’s smallest hand and blackberry. I’m not sure which it is. Sometimes I like to hold those little 6 oz Coke Cans in my hand and act like I’m a giant. I also do the same thing with the mini bottles of booze on airplanes. It’s not very difficult to entertain me. Also, shortly after her green monster, Anna was offered $5000 for this blender on the antiques roadshow.

Hangry Heather showed off her obscure nut butter collection in this post. I’m glad that Heather shared this picture. I’m also glad that Heather mentioned Scurvy…I always try to mention rickets or scurvy, but generally only do so when playing The Oregon Trail. And that usually happened because I’d buy 99 boxes of ammunition and no clothing for the children. This is no way for a banker from Boston to prepare for a trip across the country, which is why Nate Jr. would always end up with cholera or scurvy. I also mention scurvy when talking about the lead singer from the Spin Doctors (he just looked sickly), and he just doesn’t come up much these days. Anyway, I like this picture, because Kate has been falling in love with Polly’s fridge lately, which is super clean. Kate has talked about going with the ‘empty fridge/buy groceries for one day’ method. I don’t see this ending well for me. Neither of us is going to be able to go to the grocery on a daily basis. I can hardly commit to making it to my office every day, and that’s just upstairs. Hell, I can’t even blog every seven days. So please, more pictures of full fridges.

K-Dizzle from K’s Good Eats tackled an important topic in this post. In addition to sharing several mushroom glamour shots (K-Dizzle loves mushrooms - almost as much as the Real Housewives) she also discussed how her dogs are scared of fireworks. We have the same thing going on with Gilbert. This was a big problem when we lived in Indiana, because our hillbilly neighbors considered the 4th of July to be a week-long excuse to set off fireworks. I don’t get it, the duration of the holiday is clearly stipulated in the holiday’s name. It’s the 4th of July, not the “first week of July.” So Gilbert Michael wouldn’t go outside without bribery for a week or so. Fortunately we don’t have the same issue here in NC, or maybe Gilbert is just growing up. He knows he has to step up and be an adult before his upcoming nuptials with Penny. Man, we really need to stop treating that dog like a person. Oh, and a belated happy birthday to K-Dizzle.

Heather from Heat the Salmon Butt jumped on the banana ice cream bandwagon in this post. She also had a birthday party for her dog Einstein. Good to see that we’re not the only ones who treat our dog like a person. I would’ve liked to see the birthday hat on Einstein. We tried to put a birthday hat on Gilbert during my Spongebob party, but he decided to eat the hat instead. That dog loves to eat all paper products (Kate likes to say that he has a paper tooth). I’ve been kind of scared to try the banana soft serve. Several bloggers (Kath, Fitnessestenessa, Heat the Salmon Butt) have referred to it as a life changing experience. As I’ve mentioned before I’m not really a big fan of change, so I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of a commitment. If someone could confirm that it will taste good, but not change my life, I might give it a shot.

Post Graduate Meghannnn is on vacation, which means lots of guest posts. I was happy to see a post by her Easter Bunny, Derek. I like when bloggers have their significant others post for them. Most of them follow the format of: I don’t really pay attention to what I eat, I eat food from boxes, I don’t use all of those fancypants ingredients, I eat healthier because of my blogger, and I can’t believe that my blogging significant other does this posting thing multiple times per day. It’s a pretty solid format. I have enjoyed posts by Oh He Glows, Matt Eats Real Food, Mr. Hangry, and now Graduate Derek. I’m thinking Kate should do a guest post here in the near future. Both because I’m sure she’d do a good job, and because it would give me another week off from posting. A little peer pressure via comments could help make this happen.

Stock Up

Hummus - Good for hummus. It’s a true comeback story…Hummus has fallen on hard times lately, so it’s good to see hummus (both homemade and store-bought) make it to the stock up list again

Chicken Sausages - Not sure if other bloggers were eating them, but I ate enough this weekend to make them stock up

Patriotism - Blogland felt like a Toby Keith song this weekend

Green Monster Variations - Everyone seems to be adding an ingredient here, taking one out there. One of these days someone is going to come up with a combo that blows up their blender like an Indiana meth lab.

Stock Down

Store-bought Ice Cream - Everyone seems to be making their own. This banana stuff is out of control. I might give it a go, if I could also get butterfinger and oreos mixed in, like I do at Cold Stone.

Amazing Grass - It’s still out there, but mentions are down about 30% from last week

PETA Vegan College Cookbook - This was as popular as those Mushroom Ravioli things earlier this year, but haven’t seen it in blogland recently.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got. I’ll try to do better (and get back on schedule) next time.

Hi Friends. Thanks for coming back. Sorry I had to take a week off last week, but I’m back now. I leave for one week and all hell breaks loose: Jacko and Farrah die, Jon and Kate file for divorce, my Jersey housewives leave me for the year, and the Governor of a neighboring state goes to Argentina to have an affair. Crazy stuff, and that doesn’t even count all of the non-celebrity news. I’m guessing People Magazine has changed their upcoming cover about three times in the past week.

Since I haven’t spent a whole lot of time reading blogs recently, I’ll ramble a bit about our Cabo trip, and then talk about some blogs a little bit, okay? Cabo was fun. I learned that I’m getting a little too old for Spring Break (downtown) Cabo. All-Inclusive Resort Cabo is more my style. Although having something like this in your hotel room is just a little bit dangerous:

I also thought I’d give you guys a photo diary of a typical day of vacation. We’d start the day looking like this. Kate getting ready to go to the pool/beach and me heading to the golf course:

We’d then spend the afternoon at the swim-up bar, and I wouldn’t look quite so good. I think I’m going for a late Jim Morrison look. Like after he exposed himself on stage but before he died:

By the end of the night I’d look like this:

Stay classy, Nate.

And then we’d pretty much repeat that same process for nine days, so it has taken me some time to recover here. Before I get on with the blog review, I’d like to issue a few apologies.

Marta the drink cart driver at the Cabo San Lucas Country Club - I’m sorry I nearly hit you with my drive on the 16th hole. In my defense, just because we’re in Mexico, that doesn’ t mean you have to include vodka AND tequila in my Bloody Mary. I think just vodka would’ve been fine. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bloody mary and thought “You know what this needs? More booze.”

Ramon the bartender - I’m sorry I freaked out when you handed me my bar tab. I should’ve realized that 1800 pesos is not the same as 1800 dollars. In my defense, you are sort of the reason I was overserved and incapable of handling the currency conversion in my head.

Ceasar the guy who makes animals out of bath towels at the Riu Palace - I’m sorry that that I put Towel Swan and Towel Crab in such compromising (and unnatural) positions. That was childish and unnecessary. But then again, please refer to the in-room booze dispenser in the picture above.

I’d also like to thank Mrs. Arnold, my middle school Spanish teacher. Your decision to let us ignore the vosotros conjugation of countless verbs allowed me to focus on more important things. Like knowing that I was supposed to go to the Caballeros Bano, and not the Mujeres Bano. Kate apparently didn’t learn that in Spanish class. She knew she was in the wrong place when she saw the urinals.

Okay, enough about Cabo…time for the blog review:

Janet at Pretty Green Girl did a post about cookies here. Not that I’m going to borrow the recipe (I should probably stay away from cookies during my post-Mexico detox) but I do appreciate the video clip from Troop Beverly Hills. I think more blog posts should include random movie clips, especially those starring the great Craig T. Nelson. Top billing in a future blogstalker post to the first blogger who can naturally fit in a clip from Turner and Hooch, or the 1986 made for TV movie: The Ted Kennedy Jr. Story. I’d put in video clips, but Kate only wants me to put in videos that she has taken of Gilbert.

Speaking of Gilbert, he will soon have a new friend in Charlotte. Kelsey from Bites and Bowls recently announced in this post that her dog daughter Penny will be moving to Charlotte. Kelsey, Kate, and I have talked about it, and we’ve decided to arrange a marriage between Gilbert and Penny. We still have not worked out all of the details (picking a date, getting Matt to bake a dog cake, negotiating Penny’s dowry) but it will be THE social event of the Summer. Neither Penny or Gilbert have the bits required for procreation, but that’s okay….it will still make for good blog fodder. Check your mailbox (or my blog) for a save the date card.

Caitlin at Healthy Drogging Pancake has stated a spin-off blog, Operation Beautiful. It’s sort of like Post Secret, except that all of the notes are about having a positive body image, as opposed to sharing ones deepest, darkest secrets. Still very entertaining, and it is really taking off. HTP is getting love from big fancy newspapers with this Operation Beautiful thing. She’s sort of a big deal. Kate sometimes leaves me anonymous notes like this. Except they aren’t really anonymous, because I know she leaves them for me. And instead of saying things like “You’re beautiful just the way you are” she just cuts out coupons for $3 off of a haircut at Sport Clips and leaves it on my laptop. It’s the thought that counts, right?

Kath has apparently spent the past week creating, revising, and re-revising (not a word, I know) her list of places to move. I feel like I’m watching a friggan episode of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. Carmen’s in Savannah. Wait, now Carmen’s in Jacksonville. At least they’re in the Southeast, so I’m familiar with the geography. I always used to get pissed when Carmen would be in Africa or Asia, because I knew there was no chance I could identify the various unmarked countries on the big map. I guess I should’ve been happy to have a criminal mastermind like Carmen farther away from my house, but that safety wouldn’t win me that set of encyclopedias. Okay, enough about Carmen. Kath, I can make this really easy…just stay in Charlotte. A couple of reasons why: 1. It’s awesome. 2. We live here, and we’re pretty awesome. Hopefully that settles it.

I haven’t been spending enough time reading blogs recently, so no ’stock up/stock down’ this week. If y’all want to post some stock up/stock down suggestions as comments, that would be lovely. Instead, we’ll do some Larry King-style News and Notes:

News and Notes

Congratulations to the World’s Nicest Blogger, Polly on her 15 year wedding anniverary

Congratulations also to my friends and fellow bloggers Kate and Al on their upcoming wedding bash. Looking forward to seeing you guys in Minneapolis tomorrow!

Blogapalooza sold out faster than a Taylor Swift concert. I wasn’t able to register in time. Or, I wasn’t able to convince Kate in time that a blogging conference was the best way to spend our 5 year wedding anniversary. We still might come to Boston that weekend and attend some of the extracurricular activities. Stay tuned.

Sarah at Tales of Expansion issued a french toast challenge in this post. Brandi accepted the challenge by french frying some donuts here. This is like a carny’s dream. I’m pretty sure it’s fair season, so maybe Sarah can get a guest post from the guy who deep frys twinkies or oreos or something.

RoseyRebecca is giving away some Greek Yogurt. Find out the details here

Iowa Girl Eats is giving away some stuff too. I’m a slacker and didn’t get this post up in time, but you should still check out her blog.

That’s all for this week. I’ll try to do better next time. And remember, whatever you do, Don’t stop till ya get enough.

Hi Friends. Thanks for coming back to my blog. So I know I kind of promised that I’d do two posts this week, but that’s not going to happen this week. I thought all good television was over with for the year, and then I get sucked into a Deadliest Catch Marathon AND the Scripps Spelling Bee. Oh, and I’ve been busy with work too. Sorry if this late Thursday night/early Friday morning post (check local listings) throws off your Google Reader routine, but I’m traveling tomorrow and this will probably be my only posting opportunity. And if you think it sucks for you…I have to miss Taylor Swift’s performance on the Today Show. Doesn’t work know that I’ve been looking forward to this ever since Matt and Meredith announced their summer concert schedule?. 

Thanks for all of the positive feedback on last week’s ideas. If any of you guys decide to move forward with development of my hamster transportation system, or if you create your own cool tub, please send me pictures. Since y’all liked those ideas, I guess I can just use this blog to share all of my awesome ideas. I’ve shared these on my other blog, but since only seven people read that blog when I wrote that post (and I think I’m related to 6 of them) I’ll repeat myself. Here are my inventions…feel free to steal them. I promise I’ll get to the blog review after this.

Electrocuting Baby Doll - Probably need to work on the name, but it’s basically a little kid’s doll that shocks the hell out of a dog if the dog touches it. Not just for shits and giggles (unless you’re really mean) but as a training aid for the family pet when the mom and dad are expecting a human baby. Ya know, so the dog doesn’t eat the human baby. Because that would be bad.

Screw Off Chicken Bucket - All of you healthy people probably aren’t my target demographic for this one, but I think the bottom of the KFC bucket should screw off and contain silverware and napkins. Then you can use your other hand to carry your side dishes.

Vibrating Remote Control - When I’m switching between two channels, I want to know when my primary channel comes back from commercial. A vibrating remote would alert me when it’s time for me to change back so I don’t miss my Housewives.

Please invent one of these products. Oh, I’ve also got a pretty badass idea that would revolutionize banana distribution, but it’s too long to summarize here, so you can just read about it in the Editor’s tangent on this post. Now for our weekly blog recap.

Hangry Pants wrote a nice post about how she met Mr. Hangry earlier this week. I don’t know why, but I love this kind of stuff. Especially when there are pictures from the ‘before they were bloggers’ era. It’s sort of like the E! or VH1 shows with big time celebrities back when they were doing commercials or music videos. This would be an excellent time for me to include an old school picture of Kate and I from when we met, but my digital camera in 2002 actually held a 3.5 inch diskette, and my 2009 laptop doesn’t have a disk drive. Yeah, we’re an old married couple. Oh, and if you recall, Mr. and Ms. Hangry sent me chocolate muffins and liquid crack last week, which means they get to hold the #1 slot on the blog round-up until I get more free stuff. Yes, I like free stuff that much. Hmm…not sure if that’s an honor or not.

Caitlin Pancake wrote an entire post about the upcoming Twilight sequel. I think this tops her birthday post from a couple of months ago when she said she wanted the Twilight action figure as a gift. So her new name is Caitlin Twilight Pancake. I know she’s not alone in her obsession. There were like 65 comments on that post, and most of them were about how dreamy the man vampire is. And Kate’s step sister once said that she wanted to marry a vampire (because of the movie). Don’t get me wrong, he’s dreamy for sure, but I still don’t get it. In other news, Twilight has been added to my list of stuff that I don’t understand. It fits somewhere between Radiohead and fax machines on this list.

Angela at Oh She Glows wins the best post title of the week award with this alliterative post. It was a nice post with a positive ‘feel good about yourself’ message, but one thing keeps bothering me. The Green Monster keeps showing up in different glassware on OSG! I think I’ve seen a green drink in a Champagne Flute, Wine Glass, Rocks Glass, and maybe a couple more. I think this just leaves shot glass, camelback,  and beer helmet as the only drinking vessels that haven’t had the pleasure of being filled with blended green things. I’m sure there’s something psychological about drinking out of a fancy glass and making it more fun to drink the Green Monster, but I’m just not buying it. Seeing a green monster in a wine glass just makes me not want to drink wine. Everyone says they are great, and I’m sure Kate will somehow feed one to me when I’m not paying attention (because that’s how she rolls) but I think the Monster would be better in a dark glass. But then Angela totally redeemed herself with more fancy spelling…which is the best (or should I say my favourite) part of OSG. It makes me feel classy when I read the fancy spelling. Her spelling is much more regal than the backcountry gibberish that I use here.

I have been wanting to write about Polly at Yoga is Yummy for several weeks now. Polly is a fan of this blog and I enjoy reading her blog, so it makes sense for me to write about her, right? To date, Kate has always vetoed me with something like “Polly is the nicest person we know and you’ll say something mean or smartass and you won’t think it’s mean but you can’t say something mean or smartass, okay”. So this naturally scares me out of writing about Polly. Oh, and when Kate says that Polly is the nicest person we know, we are basing that entirely on her blog and comments she posts on other blogs, but I think it’s pretty accurate. Most bloggers average about one frustration post per week, where they use the blog as an opportunity to vent or something, and that’s fine. I can’t really swing that, since I only post once a week, but whatever. Anyway, all of Polly’s posts are super upbeat and nice, which is probably why Polly is now ranked above me on Kate’s ‘nice people’ list. So all I’m going to say is that I too am a Taylor Swift fan, and I think that the poster in this post is pretty sweet. Kate probably wouldn’t let me hang a poster in our bedroom, but she is going to allow me to sing some ‘Picture to Burn’ when we do Karaoke at the dive bar next weekend. Stay tuned for pictures from that.

Stock Up

Adora Calcium Discs - These things probably should’ve been stock up last week, but I was kind of hoping that I’d somehow get some in the mail, and I’d feel bad if I wrote something smartass about them. Turns out I didn’t get any, so opportunity lost. But I did steal one from Kath’s house the other day. I give them a C+ if you treat them as candy, and a A- if you consider it to be some kind of vitamin. 

Twitter Usage - The entire food blog world is now on Twitter. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing on Twitter. I’m waiting for The Video Professor to come out with a Twitter training CD because I feel like an 80 year old man on there. I don’t understand the jargon or protocol, but if you want to follow me, I think you can do that by going here.

Chocolate - Chocolate is showing up in breakfast, lunch and dinner posts this week. It’s actually kicking the pants off of Peanut Butter in their ’sweet but kind of healthy’ death match. I expect a strong response from Peanut Butter (and the rest of the nut butter family). I even saw some Chocolate Peanut Butter. I don’t know if I should count that in the Peanut Butter column or the Chocolate column. I’ll call it a draw.

Guest Posting - Following in Caitlin Pancake’s footsteps, Kath has single handedly moved guest posting into the stock up category. FFS, I hit refresh and I’ve got like six new guest posts to read. I feel like Laverne (or Lucy) working the assembly line. Slow it down! And no, I’m not that old, but I watched some Nick at Night.

Stock Down

Milk from Cows - Someone should probably notify all of the Kindergarten teachers out there, as this will have a significant impact on their curriculum. Sorry teachers, but you’re going to have to work on lesson plans this summer to explain that milk comes from the Soy or the Coconut, but not the cow. Good luck with that.

Using an Oven - Everything is either grilled or raw

Swimming (the exercise kind, not the floating kind) - The legs of the triathlon have their ups and downs. Running and Biking are back up again, but swimming is back down. Floating and/or laying on the beach is still pretty popular, so we’re just talking about lap swimming here.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for this week. I’ll try to post twice next week. Not sure if I can fit it in with a new episode of Jersey Housewives and everything else I’ve gotta do. We’ll try to do better next time.